Where in the World is Audrey

new blog new chapter

2011-10-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

I just want to say thank you everyone who has read my blog and been so supportive! I've had people say the sweetest things to me and about me that I feel like I don't deserve. Thank you again! The point of this post is to tell some exciting news...

I'm engaged!!

I'm engaged to Cj Hunter who also volunteered for Rising Star with me January through April! I'm getting married in May. We're hoping to return back to India in a year or so to volunteer again. I will now be posting all about our life together (aka when we eventually return to India as well) on this blog:

cjandaudrey.blogspot.com

my second home

2011-07-13T19:34:00.000-07:00

Walking off the plane in Chennai didn't feel foreign. I felt like I was home and I kind of am. I've spent about as much time in India as I have the states this past year. Going back to Rising Star was the best feeling in the world. I've never felt more loved in my life. The first person I saw was Moorthy's dad. He smiled and grabbed my hand. He told me his sons were excited to see me. Selvie, the cleaner, first saw me and ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug. Then Kenady brought Vanilla Mary, the house mother who is honestly one of my best friends, over from the school. I about ran her over. We just sat there hugging as she kissed my cheek. I walked outside and saw Christraj's head peeping to and fro seeing if I was there. I ran, scooped him up, and squeezed the life out of him. Then some more kids ran over and I was hugged and kissed to my hearts content. I lifted Archana up into my arms and she wrapped her arms around me and threw her head against my chest. I looked down as she said, "Auntie, I'm crying!" I almost lost it. Once playtime came around, I walked over to the kids hostel to a greeting I will never forget. They were all on the balconies yelling my name. Revathy ran down and grabbed my hand. She rushed me through the girls side to every room yelling, "Audrey is here! Audrey is here!" I was greeted by the smiling faces of all the little girls I love so dearly. Then a couple of the smaller boys pulled me over to the boys side. I sat there soaking in every smile, every hug, and every kiss. The kids ran around introducing me to all the coordinators and long term volunteers. "This is Audrey!" I saw all the house mothers and staff and each one greeted me with a huge hug telling me they missed me. I wasn't expecting anything like this and I've honestly never felt so loved. I love these people so much. Unconditionally. I was almost in tears the whole entire time because I was so grateful for each one of them and the love they were showing me. Everyone at Rising Star has changed my life so unbelievably much, more than I ever could theirs. I am the luckiest girl in the world because I can say that these people are a part of my life.

These past couple days have been amazing. Yesterday, Kyle and I were in the construction group. We moved 500 bricks, loaded up a truck with sand, unloaded it, unloaded cement roofs, and moved these huge rocks that took three girls to carry. Kyle and David picked up these rocks like they were no big deal which made me think, "Easy, we totally have this." Yeah. No. THREE OF US. It was the most awkward thing of my life. Kyle also would put spin on the bricks and he also wouldn't wait for me to turn around until he threw them so I was nervous the whole time that I was going to get a brick to the face. We took a break though and walked through the Bharathapuram colony. I saw the barber and introduced him to Kyle. He was quite excited to learn that he was my brother. Kim and I also walked with my favorite grandma, Kanamaganie (note: all indian names are spelled as they sound. I don't think I'm spelling all of them right), in the colony from one end to the middle holding her hands. I gave her a picture of me and her. When she saw it was her and me, she threw her hands in the air with a huge smile and grabbed my face and kissed and pinched my cheeks. How I love her so. Here are some pictures I took in the colony..

That night, Kim, Allie, and I had a legitimate karate match with the kids. It was sooo funny. Nagraj swung around and kicked Kim's leg and she collapsed so fast. We were all getting our butts kicked. At one point they had us all against the wall and they were just kicking the crap out of our shins. We yelled retreat retreat! and ran out of the room as fast as possible. Lame? Possibly. But the bruises on my shins prove it was a good idea to take a break. I honestly haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

Today I went with the medical clinic and we took patients to the hospital. I was fortunate enough to have Sudha the WHOLE day. She sat on my lap the way down. I took her to her appointment. Sudha was recently diagnosed with leprosy which breaks my heart. She was so scared. This appointment was a checkup and a discussion of what medicine they were going to give her and for how long. There was little Sudha in this dark dreary room were power was intermittent. Doctors and nurses huddled around her and those big brown eyes looked more and more nervous by the second. All of the sudden she was behind my leg holding onto my arm. The nurses laughed as she poked her black curly locks from my chuddygar and slowly exposed her eyes. Oh how I love her. At one point of the day, I taught her the song "Baby" by Justin Bieber. We would sing "baby baby baby oooohhhh" as we would oooohhhh she would nuzzle her nose up against mine. On the drive home, I was honestly considering taking her home. She fell asleep and nuzzled up close to me. There is nothing better in this world than cuddling with a child. I could have sat there all day. One thing that I learned about Sudha is that she is so considerate. Anytime she was given a treat, she instantly broke off a piece for me and offered it to me. I also had a bag of trail mix and she had to make sure that everyone got a chance after she picked out all the chocolate. There was nothing better than hearing her sweet voice all day.

One funny story though. Miranda and I were with the three kids watching them in the van. We were all given a piece of gum. Well we went to the other van to go eat. Miranda took Khartik's piece of gum, wrapped it up in his wrapper and put it in her bag. The other kids did the same. I threw mine right outside my window. All of the sudden there was Khartik with a piece of "blue boomer" and my gum was no longer on the ground. Miranda and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing. It was hilarious.

This is such a watered down version of what's happened here. To sum it all up though, I'm having the time of my life. I'm with the people I love and the love they are showing me is the most incredible feeling in the world. Last night, Vanilla Mary told me that I needed to get married and come back with a baby so they could all hold it, kiss it, and help me take care of my child in India. The thing is I would absolutely die if I could. I'm almost in tears half the time because I either am so grateful or so sad because I'm realizing my time in India is slowly ticking. There is honestly no other place in the world I'd rather be than here.

Indiaaa Round 3

2011-07-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

Will I ever be able to keep myself from India? Nope, not a chance. I'm extremely excited to go this time because I'm taking my brother Kyle with me. He just graduated from Highland High School (go rams). He's the BEST. Although he comes across as gangster nation with his tall tees, pants that hang to his knees, and hats that cover his eyes, he is the sweetest. Everyone is going to love him and he is going to do some amazing work! I'll be blogging in behalf of him and also taking pictures even though he avoids them like the plague... wish me luck.

Even though my bags are packed and our flight is tomorrow morning, it doesn't feel like I'm going. Words cannot even describe the excitement I feel right now. I cannot wait to see all the people I love so very dearly. Unfortunately, not everyone from my Indian family will be there. It will be so weird not having the Hendershots there. They're the most AMAZING family ever. They became my second family while I was living there. They've been there both times I've gone to India so it's not going to be the same without them. I'm going to miss them like crazy while I'm over there.

In about 12 hours I will be on board a plane. ican'tevenwaiticanhardlystandit. Peace out USA. You'll be missed...kind of... sort of... not really... Let's be honest here, you won't really be missed at all.

till we meet again

2011-04-24T16:23:00.000-07:00

I spent my last day in my favorite colony, Bharathapuram. I helped Wendy Bird teach some women in the colony how to make pearl necklaces, which was also a learning experience for me as well might I add. This is a micro business that Rising Star just opened for women in the colony. The women make beautiful pearl necklaces and bracelets that are sold back here in the states. The hardest part about this day was sitting on the ground for hours with no back support. Call me an old woman, but my back about gave out. When Wendy was here last time, they brought in chairs and tables for the women. They do not like sitting at tables and chairs. They'd rather sit on the ground. I'm pretty sure they were all thinking, "What a weak little American girl. I sit hunched over all day," as I would groan and have to walk it off for a couple minutes. The best part about helping with the pearls was being able to sit with these amazing women. Daphe was our translator so the language barrier wasn't as thick this time. At one point, I had two women staring at me. They said something to Daphe. She smiled as she leaned over to tell me that they thought I was very beautiful especially with my bindi on. The women here are always so sweet. I somehow get the comment, "Audrey, you are looking so beautiful today," when my hair is on top of my head in a rats nest, while sweating from every pore.

Lucy and I wandered around the colony. This is one of my favorite things to do in India. I love observing their lives and meeting the people. I love the freshly washed laundry hanging from the lines that are attached to the brightly painted concrete, one roomed houses.

My goal was, however, to find Kanmani, one of my favorite little trouble makers from Rising Star. I asked people near and far. "Kanmani," I'd say, really trying to enunciate. "Yanmani. Girl," they questioned. "Nooooo. Little Boy. KKKKKKKanmani," I'd say over and over. Finally a look of sudden realization lit up a young boys face as he motioned for me to follow him. We ran through alleys, and a gate to two rows of bright blue buildings. There he was hanging up some laundry. I yelled his name and saw him smile. He gave me a big hug and told me to follow him so I could see his baby sister. He showed me his two room living arrangement, his mother, and baby sister. Kanmani's father committed suicide. His mother blamed it on him. Now there is a man that lives with them, of which is also his baby sister's father. This is actually illegal in India from what Daphe told me. Since Kanmani has endured the unthinkable for a child, he tends to act out while at school. He shows this by stealing the children's pens, erasers, and snacks. He is, however, very smart and a very sweet boy. I always have a special place in my heart for the troublemakers. It's probably because I have two brothers in my family that are quite the troublemakers themselves.

On our way home, I watched India pass me through the window of the van. I was in denial that I was leaving what has come to be my second home. I will be in India as much as I have been in the states this past year considering that I'll be back in July with my brother Kyle. I reflected on my time here. India turned out to be an even bigger blessing than I originally thought. When I was packing up to leave in December, I thought I was just putting my life on pause while I went to India. In reality, my life made quite a necessary change. I am so grateful. Words cannot express to my father in heaven how blessed I feel that he sent me to India at the right time to the people that I love unconditionally. I have such a strong belief that the Lord answers our prayers through the people around us. My prayer was answered through India. Sometimes we find ourselves thinking that people need us in their lives, when we sometimes need to make the realization that we may need them more than they need us.

hangin with the house mothers

2011-04-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

My goodbye has been more of a see you later. It was nice being able to say to the kids, "goodbye, I'll see you in July!" The girls hugged me and told me they missed me; the boys chanted my name as I walked over to their side. The whole time I'm wondering what I'm going to do when I don't see them everyday. It wasn't easy saying goodbye to the kids who didn't want to go home. Ebenezer was especially heart breaking. I sat down with Ebenezer on the steps of the hostel and asked if there was anything I could do to make him feel better. He shrugged. I asked if writing a note to him would make it better. He nodded. I grabbed a piece of paper and a sharpie. I wrote about how much I loved him and how I'd keep him in my prayers. He smiled when I read it back to him. He quickly tucked it away in his pocket. I told him if he ever got sad, to read the note I gave him. He sat with me for the next hour and a half. I just held him and stroked his hair as he sat next to me. He found Charlotte's Web and had me read it out loud to him. He fumbled my elephant ring in between his two thumbs. Then we saw his mother. He stood up, shrugged his shoulders with a face that said "well here it goes I guess" and said, "Thank you Audrey". I almost burst into tears. I wish I could give him the loving home he deserves.

It was fun seeing the kids who were excited to go home. The girls all dressed up in bright colors and had wither bright purple or pink lipstick on. They all would stand on the second floor of the hostel, tip toeing, waiting to see their parents come around the corner. My favorite parent pick up was Aravindh P. He is a little UKG boy who wears glasses that extend inches past his ears. His Dad looked exactly like him, glasses and all. Aravindh was literally hopping up and down, he was so excited to leave with his Dad. His Dad greeted him with a big hug and kiss on the cheek.

After all the kids left, Lucy and I took a bike ride to the junction which is something I will really miss. I don't know what it is about sharing a palm tree lined road with cows, buses, and motorcycles that makes me love it so much. I love that at the junction I can stop by the ice cream store; go across the street and grab a nightie; go next door from the nightie place and buy 22 karat gold earrings for 20 American dollars. I love the commotion and I love the sounds. I love that it feels like home.

On our way back, we were biking through the village when I heard my name being called. The house mothers were having a little get together at one of the teacher's house. We watched tamil music videos with them. Lucy and I would squeal anytime a man went in for a kiss (which is quite scandalous mind you). We asked why was it okay for them to show affection on tv, supposedly it's because it's the character's dream. Psh. I love hanging out with the house mothers though. Kala is my Indian mom, but a few of the others are only a few years older than me. I call them my sisters.

That night we had a dance party with the house mothers. We had some tamil dance going on. I'm coming home with some mad dance skills. I know you can't wait. Chris had the chicken dance song. We had the best time. Of course at the partner portion of the dance, I was singing/yelling "da da da daaaaaaa da daaaaa da da daaaaaa SWITCH!" Honestly some of the most fun I've had in awhile. I love them.

Today was AMAZING. All of the house mothers, Angelie and her daughter, Padmini, her husband, and her children came to church with us. I loved every second because I had this two little chickies sitting next to me the whole time.

Kids at church makes it so much more fun. It's probably a reason why they can't keep me at a singles ward for too long. Archana and Reshma flipped through my Book of Mormon. Arachana turned to Thrid Nephi and read "The Book Of". She turned her head and pointed at the word Nephi. I told her the word and she finished with a smile on her face. I was so impressed. She's only six years old and english is her second language. I was so proud. Reshma found my bindis that I have been sticking on the front page after I'm done wearing them. She picked a long maroon one. I peeled it off and stuck it in between her eyebrows. She smiled, looked at me, held up two fingers in a peace sign, and said very nonchalantly "super." Reshma also thumbed through the pages of the hymn book with her chipped purple nail polish. She would say each letter to me. "Yen-O-W L-Yee-T U-Yes R-Yee-J-O-Yi-C-Yee". Translation: "N-O-W L-E-T U-S R-E-J-O-I-C-E". Reshma also found a picture of Jesus in my Book of Mormon and had me kiss the picture first. She quickly kissed it afterward as well.

Afterwards, we were all able to go to Pizza Hut. The kids were so excited to eat pizza. We walked in and they spotted the ball pit, the ones that you find at the play places in McDonalds. I have never seen children have that much fun in a ball pit. For about twenty minutes all I heard was, "Audrey! You see! You See!" Then they'd jump into the balls. They also hid from me a few times by burying someone. "Audrey! Where is Stephen?" Reshma is Padmini's niece. She was my child for an hour and a half since Padmini went her husband, daughter, and Vel to get chicken briyani. I loved every second. The best was watching her eat pizza. I had to teach her to hold the pizza and then bite. She and Archana poured massive amounts of ketchup onto their pizzas. Reshma near the end ended up sticking her whole hand in the ketchup and licking it. She repeatedly did this until her plate was clean and then asked me for more. I loved cleaning off her red, sticky hands with a napkin. Stephen, Michel, Bala Kumar, and Nagaraj each inhaled at least four pieces of pizza. They also ate it with forks and knives even though none of us did. I had so much fun watching them eat pizza.

Then we went off to the beach. I wasn't expecting anyone to get in since swim suits are out of the question. I just assumed we would walk around. Boy, was I wrong. All of the house mothers went chest high into the water in their full chuddydar outfits. Pants, dress, scarf, and all. I was playing with Reshma, lifting her over the waves when Angelie grabbed me and started pulling me in. This wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't wearing my light gray and cream sundress. I kept screaming, "Nooooo! See through! See through!" It didn't matter, they all ganged up on me and pushed me in chest deep water. I was squealing in the deep water not knowing what to do since my dress was now completely see through. They came to my aide though and wrapped me up in their scarves. I felt like I had just come from a ship wreck or something.

I spent the rest of the time swimming with the house mothers and playing with Reshma and Archana in the waves. Reshma was quite the dare devil. I had to hold her back from wanting to go deeper and deeper. I loved hearing her little squeals as the waves would crash over her little feet.

like I said... ship wreck...

I was really worried about my last days here being boring since all the kids are gone, but these past two days have been so much fun. I have loved every second of being able to spend all this time with the house mothers because it's like I said, they're my sisters. It was the way Angelie sat and hugged me; the way Kala hugged me and told me that she loved me; or when Mary put her arm around me and said, "Audrey, I love you so much. I'm going to miss you."; or when Saras Wathi told me I am her small sister and that she loves me, that made me realize how blessed I truly am. I love them so much. I'm really, really, reaaaalllyyy going to miss them.

I love you

2011-04-15T09:02:00.000-07:00

"Auuuunntttiiiiieee!"
I turned to see little Archana with bright orange flowers hanging from her pigtails running towards me. She grabs my hand and looks me up and down examining every detail from my maroon chuddydar to my bindi. "You look nice," she exclaims with that sweet smile of hers. Then I see little Reshma running over like a little mouse. She reaches her hands up and I pick her up. We walk from the blaring sun into the shade of the mango groves to the dining hall. I pause and watch as Reshma reaches up to grab a growing mango from the tree. She smiles as she finally touches it after one final stretch.

I walked into the kitchen to see the assembly line of kitchen help and cleaners making chipotee. They all look up and smile at me as Padmini hands me a rolling pin. I watch her grab a square piece of dough and roll it into a perfect circle. My turn. Somehow it's not as easy for me. Meera laughs at my poorly shaped oval. I try again and again. Preevitha's mom has me hold onto the rolling pin and puts her hands on top of mine. She shows me the motion of turning the chipotee while rolling. I keep trying, slowly making some progress. I feel a deep appreciation and love for each of these women, Padmini, Selvie, and Meera. My heart swells and then breaks realizing I'm leaving in just a couple days.

Playtime rolls around and I turn the corner to see all the children laughing and playing. Christraj jumps into my arms. "I go tomorrow," he states. I tell him that I'll be crying saying, "I miss my Christraj!" He giggles while wrapping his arms around my neck. Priya grabs my face and kisses my cheek. "I'm going to miss you," she says while nuzzling her head into my stomach. Veeran, who is usually up and running, is sitting by himself. I sit down by him and he lays his head on my lap. I stroke his hair as I watch a few 1st std boys tackle each other in the sand. Boys and girls run up to me and ask when I leave and when I'm coming back. The kids are bouncing all around they are so excited to go home. Some, however, are not excited to go home. Ebenezer sits down next to me. His usual smile is nowhere to be found. I ask him if he's excited to go home. He quietly says no. I ask him why. He lays his head onto my chest and as I stroke his hair he says, "I don't want to go home." This breaks my heart. I hold him as I think to myself, "Oh if only I could take you home with me." These children have such hard lives. Some are harder than others. This has been really hard for me. I often catch myself asking why. Why was I born in America? Why was I born into such an easy life? Why was I born into a loving family? Then I remember what Amy Antonelli taught us last summer. Instead of asking why, take our opportunities and use them to make a difference.

The love I have for these people and their children is indescribable. I know I keep saying that, but it's true. I never knew what love really was for someone outside your family or friends until I came here. I love them. Those three simple words that are sometimes so understated have so much meaning to me here. I love and care for these people so unbelievably much. Love is a strong, deep, sincere feeling. A feeling that literally expands my heart so much that it feels like my chest will explode at any second. A part of my heart will always remain here in India with these people.

bike rides

2011-04-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

I recently watched Eat, Pray, Love. I couldn't relate to the whole divorce, mid life crisis deal, but I could relate to the scenes of her biking through Bali. That's one thing I will miss, biking through the surrounding villages.

time is ticking

2011-04-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

The other day, Sarah, Olivia, Boston, Belle, and I had a sari photo shoot. I love saris. I wish I could wear one everyday despite the fact that they are so restricting. I don't know how women pick rice out in the rice paddies with saris on. It blows my mind. I absolutely love wearing Indian clothes though. The bangles, bindis, and fancy earrings and necklaces are a nice addition as well.

The other week, Cj had to climb an internet tower on the roof of the school to try and fix our internet. He claimed that the view was amazing so he made me climb fifteen feet up that same tower. I was fine until he started shaking it. My life flashed before my eyes. After I calmed down, the view of never ending green with a deep red sky was quite the sight to see.

In other news, two of my roommates have lice. I felt like I was walking to my death to go have my head checked. Good news though, I DON'T HAVE LICE! Never have. Not once. I've been here for four months. I am invincible. Kala and Mary told me that I had a very clean head. It was the best compliment I have ever received. I washed my sheets, clothes, and sprayed everything in my room with lice killer. I also washed with lice shampoo and am now spraying lice repellent onto my hair. The lice have raged war, but I'm going to come out victorious.

I don't have much to say other than I'm going to be an emotional wreck when I have to leave in less than a week. I'm in denial. It really doesn't feel like I'm ever going. I don't know what I'm going to do when I can't hear Meera echoing my name through the elephant house or hear my name called through the halls of the school. I'm going to miss their little arms wrapping around my waist and their little hands holding my face. I don't know what I'm going to do without their hugs and kisses.

I was sitting on top of this rope jungle gym sort of thing with some little UKG (upper kindergarten) kids. They'd yell my name for me to watch them hanging upside down or standing without holding on. Then their little voices would yell "Ready, mark, set, go, NOW," and they'd jump from the top onto the sand creating a dog pile. Then they figured out if they flapped their arms, they looked like they were flying. "Auntie, I fly, I fly!" At one point, I hopped down as well. Every time they jumped down with me standing there, they'd each give me a hug and run back to climb up to the top only to repeat.

Sagayamary asked me when I was leaving. She held me close and asked me when I was coming back to India. She didn't understand why I'll only be able to stay for a little. She looked up at me with those big, brown eyes hanging onto me and my heart was crushed. "Why can't you stay in September? September is my birthday." Priya gave me her famous hug, the kind that oozes love and melts your heart. She too looked at me with her big, brown eyes and said she was going to miss me when I had to go back home to America. Reshma asked me to pick her up and then gave me a couple kisses on the cheek. Archana kissed my cheek, my forehead, and then my other cheek. Tamil Selvi held me close and asked if I would remember her when I came back this summer. How could I forget? The love I feel for these children is indescribable. It probably is a good thing it is nearly impossible to adopt because I'd come home with a family of twelve easily.

Mary, the house mother, sat with her arm around me yesterday. She told me she was going to miss me. I'd always sit with her while the boys from her house took their turns riding bikes. I love her and her two boys Michael and Stephen so much. Meera asked, "America?" I told her this Monday. She said crying while moving her fingers from her eyes down her cheeks. I've made such good friends here. It really sucks that I have to leave.

I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but that's about it. I could live like this forever. I've forgotten what it's like to live in the states. When I see pictures of the snow, I always think, "Oh yeeeeaaah it snows back home." I'm so wrapped up in the beauty of India, I kind of forget about everything else in the world and I wish I could keep it that way.

Jackfruit with Vel

2011-04-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

Here is what I have been up to the past couple of days....

I got out of the dirty work and just ate the jack fruit while they got their hands all sticky. Jack fruit is very sticky. Vel covers his hands in oil before cutting so his hands aren't sticky for days. I love this fruit. You eat the covering on the seeds. I think it tastes like a banana peach mix.

Cj and I went to Vel's house in the junction. He lives with his grandmother, brother, and father. He lives in a three room house with no beds and one tv. He showed us his photo album. The last page had a picture of me and him. My whole entire day, week, month was made. As we were sitting there, I saw a group of children looking at us through the door. When I said hi, they giggled and dispersed. Vel told us that was their first time they have ever seen a foreigner. We watched some discovery channel, national geographic, sports center, and tamil music videos. The music videos are my favorite. I just can't get enough of their cheesy dancing. Vel is five years older than me. He's going to get married in a couple years. The cool thing about Vel is that he is already thinking about his kids' future. Vel started working to support his family when he was 15 years old as a rickshaw driver. He still supports his family. Vel wants to provide a better life for his children. He wants to be able to pay for his children's college education. He's honestly the sweetest guy here. I'm going to miss him.

we are the champions

2011-04-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

Oh wassup world cup?

I'm proud to be an Indian....wannabe.

Saturday night we had a cricket party with some of the staff and the older children. Lucy and I dressed up in India colors. Did I understand what was going on? Not at first. I eventually understood the rules. Did I watch all eight hours? No way jose. Cricket is like baseball. Super slow. I only handled an hour. I could take watching a guy run from stick to stick for only so long. The kids loved it though. They yelled and yelled. Cricket can be crazy over here. When I was in Delhi, our driver told us that the Indians chucked rocks at the opponents bus after India lost. The stability of this country relied on this one game. Thank heavens India won.

In other news, I officially have started to look Indian. I love Indian clothes. It's like playing dress up everyday between the bright colors and gorgeous jewelry. We were in the tempo driving to a colony and Dr. Susan looked at me and laughed. She told me that I was looking more and more like an Indian. The staff and tell me I look very beautiful when I dress more Indian. Saraswathy the other day asked me where I was from. If only I could dress this way in the states.

Women wear toe rings to show that they are married. I made the mistake of just deciding to wear one. I heard it from everyone. "Audrey, when did you get married??" Surprise? When I told the kids I wasn't married, they then questioned why I wasn't. I should be married by now I guess. It's almost like I never left BYU.

Come What May and Love It

2011-03-31T21:28:00.000-07:00

Living in India, visiting leprosy colonies, and tutoring has become an everyday thing for me. Yesterday, as I was sitting and unwrapping bandages in the Bharathapuram colony, the feeling hit me. I'm living in India. I'm in a leprosy colony right now. When I was growing up, India was a mystical, far away place on the other side of the world that I saw in the movies "The Little Princess" and "The Secret Garden". I would have never guessed that I'm where I am today. I'm not only in the heart of India, but I'm in the forgotten corners with the people that have been left behind in the heart of a country that's on the other side of the world. My life rocks.

I feel an overwhelming sense of love here. The barber in the colony, that I have really come to know and love, told Cj that I was his daughter.

This woman that I love told me she was my grandmother as she held my face with her hands and kissed her fingers afterward.

The people in the colony smile at me with their toothless smiles and their big eyes that beam through their glasses. They hold onto my hands and hug me. I feel loved as I gaze into their eyes and smiles. I told the old woman I loved her. A smile shone through as she held me close and told me she loved me.

There is a language that can be understood around the whole world--the language of love. So much is said through their eyes, their smiles, their hugs, and the way they hold your hands. The feeling tugs at my heart and a connection is made that makes a bond so strong, that I will never forget about them.

The leprosy afflicted are amazing examples of endurance. They sit down in front of me and show what remain of their feet. They're covered in dirty bandages that sometimes are seeping yellow fluids if their sores are bad enough.

The smell of open wounds creeps out as I unwrap the bandages. I toss the bandage into a bin that now has flies swarming it. After their feet are washed, I watch them hobble to the wrapping station. Some have to crawl. A woman shakily walks miraculously without a foot. Some patients don't take care of themselves and you can tell by their smell and tattered condition of their clothes. It's these moments where I realize how hard their lives are.

I can not even imagine what they have to endure on a day to day basis. There has never been a day though when I'm not in complete awe. They have a smile on their face as their wounds are being scrubbed down.

These people are examples of endurance. It reminded me of a talk given by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin.

"Come what may and love it."

If they can smile and laugh in the midst of one of the worst diseases in the world that has ostracized them from their society, I can endure anything and with a smile on my face at that. Elder Wirthlin also said,

"Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result."

Grin and bear it. If they can, so can we.

Simplicity

2011-03-30T08:32:00.000-07:00

Life is simple here in India. I love it. I don't have a cell phone pestering me all day long. How can we feel those moments where the spirit taps on our hearts if we're completely consumed by texting and whatever else comes with phones. I go on walks and bike rides daily on dirt roads through a village with cement one room houses and thatched roof huts. I wear big baggy pants with a colorful, bright dress on top. I feel beautiful with my hair pulled back in a pony tail, no make up, and a bindi on my forehead. I can walk around bare foot without anyone looking at me weird. I wear two silver anklets, one each ankle. I eat with my right hand. It's rude to eat with your left hand here in India. Why you may ask? Well in America we have this thing called toilet paper. In India toilet paper is also known as your left hand. I go jogging with our pet lamb. She's more of a dog than a lamb. People only own a couple of outfits. If they have shoes, they only own one pair. Women wear bright rectangles of fabric that wraps around them and turns into a sari. The girls ooh and ahh over brightly colored head bands and clips. I wear a ankle length nightie when I sleep that I bought for one American dollar. I take showers by pouring cold water over my body via buckets. A broom is a bundle of sticks. Frogs are constantly hopping out at me. I sit in the shade of mango groves. We have a milk man. We bike to the junction and grab butterscotch ice cream cones for 30 rupees which is underneath one dollar in American currency. I buy my vegetables from a produce stand. I play with the most adorable children everyday. They kiss my cheeks and tell me that they love me. They hold my hands as I walk around campus. I eat fresh pineapple and papaya. Beautiful rice paddies extend to the horizon right across the road from where I live. As the sun sets, the sky goes from a blue to a pink and then a deep red. Here's a video that I made of the village I live in.

I'm excited to go home and see my friends and family. I may gain fifty pounds or go into a food coma because I'm going to consume some massive amounts of food. But, I'm also kind of nervous about leaving. This is my sanctuary. I love my life over here. I can't imagine my life without India.

Mosquitoes Love Dress Ups

2011-03-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

Today I went shopping with Sarah and Boston in Chengalpet

for these fabulous fancy Indian dresses that all the little girls here wear that I will use as dress ups for my future daughter(s).

I know I say this all the time... but I really cannot wait to be a Mom. I'm dying from the anticipation over here. Hopefully I have at least one girl. If not... well shoot. I guess I'll just look forward to grandchildren or nieces at that point. On the car ride home, our car had around five mosquitoes just flying around us. Sarah turned back to me and Boston and told us to, "Get them before they get us!" You don't even understand how much mosquitoes love me. My ankles are always covered in bites. I wasn't going to add onto it. They're tricky little buggers though. You think you have them and then you see them buzz near your hand one second later. At one point Boston and I were both smacking our hands around trying to kill them. We both went for one and smacked each other's hands while the mosquito flew up right above the point of contact. Dang it. I did kill a couple however. My hands may or may not have been bright red from all the slapping and smacking my hands up against the windows.

Lord, I Would Follow Thee

2011-03-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

When I was in church, I came across this hymn. If my thoughts and feelings were put to music, it would be "Lord, I Would Follow Thee".

Savior may I learn to love thee, walk the path that thou hast shown

Pause to help and lift another, finding strength beyond my own

Savior may I learn to love thee- Lord I would follow thee

Who am I to judge another, when I walk imperfectly?
In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see.
Who am I to judge another? Lord, I would follow thee.

I would be my brother's keeper; I would learn the healer's art.
To the wounded and the weary I would show a gentle heart.
I would be my brother's keeper- Lord, I would follow thee.

Savior, may I love my brother as I know thou lovest me,
Find in thee my strength, my beacon, for thy servant I would be.

Savior, may I love my brother- Lord, I would follow thee.

I love verse one because of the line "pause to help and lift another, finding strength beyond my own". One of the lessons I have learned from service is that when you lose yourself in the work of helping those around you, you find yourself.

I love verse two because it describes something I feel so strongly about. We don't know what anyone is going through at any point of time. One of my goals has been to be the person that unknowingly has made someone's life easier. By simply being kind to those around us, we can impact their lives without even knowing it. One of my favorite quotes is,

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

-Plato

I love verse three because it reminded me of the reason I want to be a nurse. I feel that I can make an impact somehow by helping the wounded and the weary.

I love verse four because it describes finding our strength, our light, our path in Christ. If our strength, light, and path comes from Christ, we cannot fail. This message brings me an overwhelming sense of peace and love. The thing that I love about the gospel is that it makes me so happy. It brings me a happiness that can't be described in words. I am grateful for what the Lord has provided for me in my life. I can't imagine my life without Him or His gospel.

Ballin' with Flowers

2011-03-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

Everyday I work in the library checking books out to the children. I love it. Mostly because I just am able to sit around with the kids for an hour. I love seeing their faces peep into to the door to say hi to me. Some kids bring unwelcome guests. One day, I was busy typing a book into the log when all of the sudden I heard, "Auntie look!" Before I knew it, there he was holding a spider that was a little bit larger than a quarter hanging by it's web struggling two inches from my nose. I screamed. Angelie laughed. Everyone in the library laughed. The boy burst up laughing and ran out of the room. I was left scarred.

Hordes of children come at one time to check out books and they all want to type on the keyboard and click the mouse. This wouldn't be a problem if it was one child, but ten constantly trying to grab the mouse from you and type? Yeah. It can be a problem. One day, they were fighting over the mouse, the keyboard, and where people could stand; they all constantly clicked the mouse; they all were grabbing and typing on the keyboard. I had finally gotten them all under control after mass chaos. The kids left that had already checked out books instead of hovering around the computer. Then as I went to reach for the mouse, I saw a little hand slowly reach out to the mouse and click it. Then he bolted from his hiding place and ran out the door laughing. The kids laughed and I couldn't resist laughing too.

As of a couple days ago, it's starting to get really hot in India. Hot as in I'm sweating by just sitting. During playtime yesterday, I couldn't stand being in the sun any longer so I sat in the shade. Christraj bounced along and asked me to watch him dribble the basketball. He'd lift up his leg and dribble it underneath his leg. When the ball bounced, he bounced just as high. I was dying it was so cute. This reminded me of my brother Ben when he was little. Here is the video I made of Christraj.

As I was sitting there, a group of children decided to put flowers in my hair. I loved watching their eyes in deep concentration carefully placing flowers all over my head. They kept telling me, "Auntie! You look super!" They would then run and grab a volunteer to take a picture of their beautiful design.

I am the luckiest girl in the whole entire world. I was walking back to the elephant house last night and I was thinking back on when I graduated from high school. I would have never guessed in a million years that I would be able to live in India. Wow, I live in INDIA. How cool is that? India has become such a major part of my life. I can't imagine my life without this culture, these children, and these people.

On a side note: Basha did two pages of math today without my help! I'm sooo excited!

Sundays are Fun Days

2011-03-20T22:41:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I turned on my alarm for 6:30 in the morning for church. I laid my head on my pillow and waited for my computer screen to dim. All of the sudden, a huge bug crawled across my pillow right in front of my eyes. I normally would shriek, but I have a roommate now so I held it in. I chucked the pillow onto the ground and reached for pillow number two. I went to lay my head back down and... bam there it was again. Now I'm frustrated. I chucked that pillow onto the ground. This time instead of the bug on my pillow, it flew onto my face and around my head. I tried really hard not to squeal as I tried to brush it away frantically. Then there was no sign of that bug. I fell asleep praying I wouldn't wake up with a bug in my ear or mouth.

Back in the states, Sundays are a day of relaxation. Here in India, it's quite the opposite. Church starts at 9:30 am which means we have to leave at 7:30 am to arrive on time. This means I'm waking up at 6:30 am. If you know me at all, I'm not a morning person. I don't enjoy waking up early whatsoever. Then we pile into a car and drive for two hours. For some reason, long drives make me sleepy no matter what.

When we finally get to church, I can barely understand what they're saying. No they're not speaking Tamil, they're speaking English, but they might as well speak Tamil. Tamil sounds like one big slur. I'm guessing that's why their English sounds like one big slur too at times. It takes everything I have in me to not zone out. After sacrament meeting, my brain has officially turned off. One time in Relief Society I was the only westerner. Some of the women don't speak English. They just handed me an Ensign to read while they gave a lesson in Tamil. Occasionally, they would ask me to read something from a talk in English to include me. This doesn't sound like something that would wear you out, but it does. Here's our chapel.

Yesterday, I was asked to teach the primary lesson. I sat with the thirteen children. I was then asked to do the opening song. No biggie right? A little "I Love to See the Temple" never hurt anyone. I was a little nervous about my lesson though considering I have never taught one in my life. Fortunately, the lesson was on prayer and that's something I can handle. I tried following the manual, but I saw in their confused, deer in the head light faces that they weren't understanding hypocrisy in prayer the slightest bit. Explaining things like hypocrisy, vain repetitions, and why we use the words thee, thou, and thy when we pray to children who can only somewhat speak English doesn't work too well. After that, I just stuck to the basics. I mean they are only 8-11 and they haven't been members their whole lives. Why do we pray? There was always one girl who sat directly in front of me that no matter what answered, "We pray morning and night and read our scriptures to show Heavenly Father we love him." The classic primary answer. No matter how simple the answers, the light shining from their eyes said so much more. I loved the privilege of being able to teach them about prayer and testify to them that their Heavenly Father loves them so much. More than we can even comprehend. That he wants to hear from each and everyone of us. That he wants to hear when we're sad, when we need help, and what we're grateful for. Here's a picture of the primary room.

I sat with the children for sharing time. This was going to be the first sharing time I had been to in... what? nine years? Yep. Nine years. Oh, but wait. The primary president asked me if I could do sharing time. "Suuuure," I answered while questioning my ability to do this spur of the moment. I glanced over the sharing time magazine and began. The lesson was about how Heavenly Father gives us road signs, like stop, go, and slow, to follow in our lives. Fortunately, we had stop, go, and slow signs like the manual said to have for this lesson. I had April, who saved my life, play the piano while they sang. I then chose who was being most reverent to help me the signs. When one kid held out stop, they stopped singing. When one child held out slow, they slowed down etc. Then I testified to the children that the Lord is going to tell us when to stop or go and that we need to be listen carefully.

Playing the piano has become a valuable skill. In relief society, the president asked me to play my favorite hymn. I chose "Be Still My Soul". I haven't played this song since I was maybe 16 years old. I just stuck with playing the right hand. You know they don't hear the piano often because when I was done and went to go sit back in my seat, the president grabbed my arm and told me thank you, that it brought tears to her eyes to hear that beautiful song. I also have been told I have a beautiful voice, which I do not have whatsoever. Ask my friends who hear me sing in the car. It ain't pretty. Their perception of music would be completely changed if they heard my ward orchestra playing in the Christmas program we have every year.

I usually play the piano for Sarah in singing time for primary. Sarah couldn't make it because we had a big group of University of Utah MBA students arriving at Rising Star, so I did anticipate being in charge of singing time. Want to take a guess what their favorite song is? It's "Once There Was a Snowman". I love that I'm singing about snow in India. They also love "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" and the classic "Popcorn Popping". I love doing the actions with them and that smiles that spread across their face. They have the sweetest little voices. Even though they mostly just yell, there still is the sweetest spirit that fills that room. I also somehow miraculously got them to stay reverent throughout that whole period of time.

I love church in India. Going to church here in India has strengthened my testimony. The church has the same spirit even half way across the world in a completely different language. The faith of these people is remarkable. There is at least one baptism a week. There is a light inside of them that radiates from their being. I'm not saying that figuratively. There literally is a light about them. The love they have for God and Christ emulates from them. I have learned so much from them.

You may be thinking to yourself, is she holding a sweatshirt in her arms in India where it's 90-100 degrees? Yes. Yes I am. They blast the ac to the point where an artic chill has blown over. I freeze if I don't bring my sweatshirt.

When we arrived back at campus, there was the group of U students. They brought colored powdered used for "Holli" also known as the color festival that many people go to in Spanish Fork, Utah this time of year. The colorful powder filled our hands and were soon empty after throwing it at someone's face. For some reason the kids ganged up on me.

I had purple powder in my ear, red powder in my eye, and green powder in my mouth. Watching the children laugh and squeal while puffs of purple, blue, green, yellow, and pink filled the air was one of my favorite moments here at Rising Star. Unfortunately, after scrubbing for 20 minutes, I am stained a purplish, green on sporadic places of my body.

And if you're wondering, Steele did do a nice shout out to our Cougs win for all those Utes to hear. I ended it with a "Go Cougars!" I was also wearing my BYU shirt. Sweet Sixteen baby. Wasssupppp!

Boston ended last night with our thought for the day. She read this poem. I loved it

The Reflection

The good you find in others is in you too.

The faults you find in others, are your faults as well.

The beauty you see around you is your beauty.

The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are.

What you see in others shows you to yourself.

See the best in others and you will be your best.

Give to others and you give to yourself.

Show your best face to the mirror and you'll be happy with the face looking back at you.

I Can't Wait to Be a Mom

2011-03-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

I was sitting on the plane back to Chennai by myself, missing the parentals already, and reading Anna Karenina. Then this guy scooted over to the empty row next to me, hoping that he'd have it to himself. He then told me that Anna Karenina was next on his list of books to read. He reached out his hand and said, "Charlie." He asked me what I was doing in Chennai. I told him about Rising Star and then asked what brought him to Chennai. He told me business. People then took his empty row and he moved back to his assigned seat. When we landed, he asked a little bit more about Rising Star. I was walking out of the airport when he ran up to me, he handed me an envelope with money in it. Our star store has been depleted and we needed to go buy more toys and such for the kids to buy with their stars. The star store doesn't have a budget though and the money or toys comes from donations. Charlie doesn't even realize that the money he donated was needed. I greatly admire those who so willingly help. Their selflessness and feeling of responsibility gives me hope. I'm glad there are many people like this in the world. Without them, this world would be a dark and dismal place. Their light flickers through the harsh reality of life and gives hope to others.

I went into Chennai with Sarah, Olivia, and Oaks to go shopping for the star store with the money and Olivia and Oaks had to get warts frozen off. We had to go to the hospital for the treatment. Indian hospitals are very... inefficient. There's a register section, then there's the payment section, then you have to get a wristband to wait in line to get onto the elevator. Once you get off the elevator there is another registration table and so on. No matter what you do in India, it takes for-ev-er. It drives me absolutely crazy. At one point they had to transfer us from one section of the hospital to another. They crammed us in a small "ambulance". My legs were crammed and the ceiling was an inch above my head. I wish someone video taped me trying to get out of the ambulance because I must have looked really awkward.

Oaks had his warts frozen off. They wouldn't freeze Olivia's because her's were on her nail bed. Oaks came out after and we asked him if it hurt because he didn't say anything about it. He just shrugged like it was no big deal. He's one tough kid. India brings fun skin abnormalities. I had a little bump on the side of my hand that left a small area on my palm red and splotchy. It itched. After a few does of T-Bact ointment, I'm glad to announce, that it is gone. I also have about 20 mosquito bites all over my ankles and legs; not an exaggeration. Not to mention, three bites on my face. Hip... hip... hooray... Oh well. Everything else in India makes up for the occasional itching and my parents left me some insect repellent so I'm in good hands.

We shopped in Spencers, an Indian mall, and T. Nagar. T. Nagar is my favorite place to shop. It's basically blocks and blocks of markets. The markets are always the best place to shop in India. Sarah and I did some serious speed shopping. She'd scout out the stands. Once she found something, she'd call me over. We'd pick something out and while I paid, she continued to scout. I loved shopping for the kids. I had so much fun. It was like Christmas. I think it's always more fun to buy and give presents than receive them. I did buy some pure silver baby anklets for when I have a baby girl in the years to come (hopefully I have a girl because then I'd have to wait for my granddaughter to wear them). I cannot even wait to have kids. I want to be a mom so unbelievably bad. Don't get me wrong though. I'm not trying to rush into anything over here, I'm just looking forward to the day. But, I guess you could say I'm baby hungry. It reminds me of that "Provo, UT Girls" parody. One line describes BYU girls as "eighteen, clueless, and baby hungry". I feel that I should be singing, "twenty, still clueless, and baby hungry." I already think about my future family. I imagine holding a baby in my arms. I think about cooking treats with them; having a chicken coop and a dog; I want a vegetable garden; making dress ups for my girls; going to my boys games and being their number one fan; tucking them in each night; reading them stories. I look forward to having muddy little feet walk through my house after a rain storm; red cheeks and noses from the cold; food down the front of their shirts. I can't wait to see their personalities grow and develop. I can't wait to have family dinner, family prayer, family home evening. I can't wait to show them my love for the gospel and hopefully teach them how to be good people when they grow older. I hope my passion for changing the world carries over to them. I hope they change it with me because I know they'll change my world for the better. I already have this great capacity to love them right now and they're not even here. I can't imagine the love I'm going to have for them when they come into my life.

Petting Zoo

2011-03-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

Meet Brownie.

Our new two day year old billy goat. The mother would kick her and head butt her away. She would only feed the brother. The Hendershots decided to take her in. They joke that they have started their own farm. They have Lola the lamb, Brownie the baby goat, and a chick that will soon be joined by another.

As I was teaching school this morning, Brownie kept maaaing. I held her and soon she fell fast asleep along with our new day old chick.

Sarah had been trying to feed this little baby goat a bottle all morning. I spent the next couple hours trying to figure it out. I'm glad to tell you that I had success and lots of milk all over my top. She now downs bottles like nobody's business.

I have to position her head sometimes and hold it still so she can drink. It looks like I'm strangling her, but I promise I'm not. Sometimes she thrashes it around while trying to drink from the bottle. As you may imagine, that doesn't work too well. She's the sweetest little thing.

I was standing and watching the children play when I felt a tug on my shirt. I looked down and saw little Reshma. I heard her little voice say, "Auntie," as she reached her hands up for me to hold her. She rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms tight around my neck. Then I felt a thud against my side. I looked down to my side and saw Basha with his arms around my waist and his head buried into my stomach. I kiss his forehead and tell him that I missed him so much. Then came Priya, Archana, Sathya, and Mariyambee. Priya holding one hand and Reshma holding my pinkie, pulled me out form the shade of the school and into the blaring sun. The bell rings and I walk Reshma to the UKG playground. Anandavel wraps his arms around me. I look down at his adorable face and kiss his forehead. Aravind signs "I love you". I mirror the image and hold it against his little fingers. I kiss his cheek and see his beautiful smile as he hops to class. I watch them all file into their classes laughing and skipping. I pause and soak in this moment. I replay it in my mind hoping I'll always remember.

Gratify the Bad Feelings Away

2011-03-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

You know those moments when it feels like life just knocked you onto the ground and kicked you in the stomach? Yeah. They suck. Really bad. I had that feeling this morning. They usually creep into the cracks of our lives every once in awhile. I was so hurt and my mind was consumed on the fact I was so hurt. Contentious thoughts clouded my mind. I literally couldn't think of anything else. Then I prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help me get rid of these contentious feelings and clear my mind. That's when the thought came to my mind, list things you are grateful for. Slowly one minute turned to five minutes, which then turned to half an hour, which then turned to an hour, which then turned into the car ride home from Agra. I would pause for a moment, but if the hurt or contention consumed my thoughts once again, I continued on with the list. This method is a cure for a clouded mind. When your mind is consumed with feelings of pain or contention, gratify it away. I know the word gratify isn't really used in it's proper form there, but I made it up and that's my new life slogan. I promise this works. Remembering everything I was grateful for snapped me out of a moment of self pity. How could I feel sorry for myself when I have so much to be grateful for? The feeling of pain and resentment turned to peace. My list went from stupid things like bananas in my oatmeal to people I love and appreciate. Here are some people that popped into my mind while I was listing. I am grateful for:

My Brother Kyle

I love my brother so much. I would do anything for him. I love how he tries to run away from me when I give him hugs. I love how he wears tall tees that look more like dresses. I love how Kyle always wears a hat that covers his handsome blue eyes. I love Kyle because he is loyal. I know he always has my back in any situation. He stands up against those who offend or try to hurt his friends and family. I clearly remember when he came to freshmen orientation at Highland. I was a cheerleader so I had to be there to welcome the freshmen. At one point of the day, they announced the cheerleaders. When they announced my name, Kyle clapped and yelled, "Yeah Audrey," while telling people I was his sister. I love Kyle because he has the biggest heart out of anyone I know (even though he tries really hard to hide it). My family always jokes that he has a hard granite shell, but has a ooey gooey inside. He works with special ed students at his high school. He does such a good job, that the special ed teacher told him that he should consider working in special education. I love my brother Kyle because he's been my buddy since we were little.

My Brother Ben

I love that Ben wore his purple Lil' Dez shirt for his freshman school picture. I love when he gets in trouble and tells my Mom that he "only broke the rule for five minutes". I love watching Ben dominate in football and basketball. I love Ben's dimples and smile. He flashes one at you, you can't help but smile back. I love that he is like the energizer bunny. He just keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going. I love that he is hilarious. His immature, fourteen year old poop and fart jokes are still funny, even though they shouldn't be. I love how mischievous he is. Whether it's putting a christmas tree in someone's chimney or lining up trash cans in the middle of the road so he can pop out of them as people drive up, he is always cracking me up. Ben is also loyal. I remember 4 years ago when he was in fifth grade, one of my guy friends was teasing my by trying to make fun of me with Ben. Ben told him off by saying, "Dude, that's my sister. Stop." I love that Ben is Ben. He is confident in who he is. I love how much life and laughs he brings into our family.

My Sister Emily

If you were to describe Emily in one word, it would be sweetheart. She is the sweetest girl in the whole entire world. I had Emily come sleep over with me at my apartment one weekend night. After she left, I was cleaning my room and found a card. My sweet little sister had left me a card telling me that she loved me. I love her so much. I love going shopping with her. I love spending time with her. She has the funniest personality. I love that she can be feisty. I unfortunately had to leave her alone to fend for herself against two older brothers. She's been managing just fine though. She is the most amazing painter, actress, singer, and piano player. I love that Emily doesn't feel the need to grow up fast. Emily loves everyone. That little, petite body has so much love to share that it overflows to all around her.

I love my brothers and sister so much. I miss them...so much. I hope they realize the happiness and love they bring into my life. I hope they know how grateful I am for each one of them.

Taj Mahal

2011-03-12T07:59:00.000-08:00

Half of our day was consumed by a five hour drive to Agra to see one of the world's seven wonders, the Taj Mahal. Indians don't really enunciate their words. Sometimes their sentences sound like one big slur. When they say Taj Mahal, it sounds more like Taj Mel.

On our drive out, these Indian men came up to our window with monkeys on leashes that would jump onto these poles. Then one jumped onto our window which freaked me out a little because of my hatred for them and my last encounter with monkeys in Mamalapuram. Usually they try and charge you for taking a picture of their monkeys, but I usually just say no and walk away because they always try to persuade you to give sometimes over 200 rupees. Of course they always tell you after you have taken the picture. I find this rather unethical. Any who, me and my rebellious nature decided to just take the picture and refuse to pay. Our driver wasn't in the car because he was going to pay a tax for driving into a new state. Well they started banging on the windows, eventually opened the car door because yes it was somehow unlocked. My Dad tried talking to them nicely saying he'd give them 10 rupees if they closed the door. When that didn't work, he used his stern voice. Caution: this isn't a voice you want to hear and can be very verrryyy intimidating. Especially because my Dad looks like he could be in the mafia. My Dad then slipped him ten rupees through the small crack in the window. The guy managed to squeeze his fingers into the crack of the window and kept asking for 100 rupees. At one point he said, "Sir, my fingers," because the crack was so small. My Dad kept saying no and when the guy went to tap on the window to annoy him, my Dad rolled up the window within a split second. I will never take a picture of a monkey again.

The only places I have ever really experienced beggars coming up and hitting your windows have been in Delhi and Agra. We're not supposed to hand them out money for a good reason. You really don't know where the money is going. You could be contributing to child slavery without even knowing it; the money could be going to purchasing alcohol; and when you give them money, you're keeping them on the streets. Three little kids ran up to me yesterday. They were adorable. Since I couldn't give them money, I took pictures of them and showed them afterward. I watched little smiles radiate from their faces as they pulled another beggar child and showed her the picture. As we were driving today, a little head popped up into view through my car window as we were heading out towards Delhi. I heard his little tin bucket hit up against my window. My gaze went from his tin bucket and followed down his arm to his face. The sight of his tattered clothes, mangy hair, and big, brown, pleading eyes felt made my stomach feel uneasy. My gaze went from his face back to my ipod and then I felt awful. I wish I could tell him I'm sorry; sorry for the fact that he lives like this while I have every opportunity available; sorry that there is nothing I can do to help him. One child had a mustache drawn on his face with a red beanie that had a long string attached. He would whip his head around and dance in front of the car. All I want to do is take these children off the streets, feed them, wash them, give them clothes, a nice home, and someone to take care of them. One man was crawling along the side of the street. His legs flopped in awkward angles. He had obviously broken them and let them heal in a way that would never allow him to walk again. He crawled over to our car and banged on the side of the car. We couldn't see him, but the sound of him banging the metal of our car door and yelling was fingernails on a chalkboard to me. These are the moments I wish I was blind, the moments I wish I couldn't see the harshness of the world around me. They are almost too hard to bear. I want to do more than just say I'm sorry for those who are downtrodden. I want to take my opportunities and use them to better their lives.

After the long drive, we finally made it to Agra and saw the Taj Mahal. This is my second time seeing the Taj Mahal and it was even more breathtaking than the first time. It's completely made of white marble. Geometric symmetry is very important to the Muslims. The Taj is completely symmetrical. You walk in through the front gate and the Taj is completely centered. The king had a mosque built on one side of the Taj so the workers had somewhere they could worship during construction.

Since it threw off the symmetry, he built another one on the other side even though they never would use it because it faced the wrong direction. The four towers are built slightly leaning away from the dome of the Taj so that way if there was an earthquake, the towers wouldn't fall onto the dome. The intricate designs are made from semi precious stones, nothing is painted on. There used to be precious stones like diamonds, sapphires, rubies etc, but when the British came through India, they stole all of the precious stones. The inscriptions around the doors are from the Qu'ran. They show the 90 different names of Allah. Some people mistake the Taj as a palace, but it's actually a mausoleum for his wife. His wife died giving birth to one of their children who also died. She asked him to never remarry and to build her a monument. He never did remarry and built her the Taj Mahal where they are both buried now. Talk about a love story.

We had to wear these awesome red shoe covers. I joked with my Mom that it seemed like we were sweeping the floors as we walked. I suggested that they should start attaching swifter bottoms to the shoe covers so that way we clean as we see the Taj.

Last Day in Delhi

2011-03-11T06:35:00.000-08:00

rickshaw ride into a market in old delhi

outside the market

inside the market. unfortunately the road was bumpy and we were in a rickshaw so the picture came out blurry.

in a spice store

still in the heart of the market

This market in Old Delhi is the India I know and love. The streets are so narrow that only four people could fit from one side to another. The wires are insane. They drape and hang right above you. There are different streets in the market. There's an auto part street; silver street; sari street; jewelry street etc. Brightly colored tassels, feathers, ribbons, and fabrics drape outside the front of the stores. We went to a temple in the middle of the market that I went to earlier this summer. Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to take pictures. Here are some interesting rules of the temple though:

menstruating women aren't allowed inside

you must clean your hands AND mouths before entering

We headed down to the silver street that I went to in the summer. I loaded up on silver rings for about ten American dollars each. I bought an elephant one. I absolutely love it! We also loaded up on bangles for my little sister Emily. We then took the rickshaws past the largest mosque in Delhi. Since it was Friday, people were there worshiping. It was amazing seeing the masses of people in and outside of the mosque on their hands and knees praying towards Mecca. I really wish the middle east wasn't so unstable because that is an area and culture I would really love to see and experience.

After our market adventure, we drove around to a couple more sights before heading back to the hotel.

Here am I with my new Indian crew at the Lotus Temple. My Mom and I had so many people asking to take pictures with us, that a woman came up and told us that my Mom and I were the tourist attraction and not the temple. I had women handing me babies asking me to take pictures with them. One baby cried and cried. I felt so bad. She was just terrified of the scary white girl. At one point a huge group huddled around me and my Mom. My Dad was off looking inside the temple. The huddle started to feel uncomfortable. My Mom and I looked at each other uneasily and I said to her, "Uhhh where's Dad?" One man took a picture of just me and him standing next to each other and then a picture of him shaking my hand. Instead of silver belt boy, we had orange shirt boy who just lingered by us the whole time we were there, occasionally snapping pictures of us on his matching orange cell phone.

This is the Qutab Minar Complex. It was built by a muslim king (who's name was Chandra) in 1199 AD to serve as a calling tower for prayer. The picture doesn't serve this tower any justice. There are sanskrit carvings that encircle the whole tower. I just can't believe that they built this is 1199.

"Let's show 'em our tough face."

being cheesy

I just ended the day with four scoops of butterscotch ice cream. I didn't think it was a big deal until my Dad has this look of complete bewilderment. I'm taking advantage of my young body and fast metabolism while I still can. My Dad just had laundry done. He said, "I wish I lived somewhere where someone did my laundry everyday." My Mom had a look of complete bewilderment as she exclaimed, "I do your laundry everyday!" I love my parents.

Pictures From the Trip Thus Far

2011-03-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

president's house

"stand next to that guard"

sun in my eyes

eeek!

outside the red fort

king's tomb inside fort

red fort wall

Gandhi's memorial

He said the seven deadly sins were:

wealth without work

pleasure without conscience

science without humanity

knowledge without character

politics without principle

commerce without morality

worship without sacrifice

Gandhi was, simply put, amazing. Every time I read something he wrote or said, I feel uplifted and enlightened.

the father of the man who built the Taj Mahal's tomb

This random woman just walked into our picture and confused us so bad. Then we understood once her son started snapping pictures. This was one of the many. Another guy, we called him silver belt, followed us around the whole time we were at the red fort. Needless to say, we got our taste of life as a celebrity.

New Delhi is so clean. I don't feel like I'm in India anymore. Along with sightseeing, my parents bought some silk rugs. We also ate at an amazing Indian restaurant. I have never liked vegetarian food until now. There was this crispy spinach with these different sauces drizzled onto it. This sounds so gross but it was AMAZING. My favorite Indian dish to this day is cheese squares in this tomato gravy. Whether if it's with rice or naan, it's delicious! One more day in Delhi and then we're off to go see the Taj!

Delhi

2011-03-09T19:07:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Christraj's birthday. I went over to his class with my Mom. He and his sister, Sagayamary, have been counting down his birthday with me for the past month. "March 9th is my brother's birthday!" As he walked out to go to lunch, he had that crocodile smile that stretched from ear to ear. I yelled, "Happy birthday," while scooping him and giving him a big kiss on the cheek.

Is he not the CUTEST! I can't even handle it. I had such a deep bond with him the last time I came and it's definitely carried over. He has a sweet voice, sweet dance moves, and his love for life is incredible. He loves life so much sometimes that I don't think even he knows what to do with it.

My Mom and I walked around and said goodbye to the children. They love my Mom so much. Anywhere she goes there is a flood of children waiting to hug her.

This is Anandavel. He's the little boy we sponsor. Once again... is he not the cutest thing in the whole world! How lucky am I to have spent the last few months with these darling children. Anytime I feel down or sad, I walk over to see the children. The way the hold my hands, nuzzle their heads against my stomach while wrapping their arms around me, and kiss my cheeks relieves pain or any stress I may be feeling. How could I not feel loved with all of these adorable children. I'm so grateful for each and everyone of them.

My parents and I left for Delhi. I had a slight separation anxiety leaving Rising Star. I don't know what I'm going to do when I actually have to go home. We arrived at the hotel, where apparently President Obama stayed. Everyone was dressed nicely in slacks, suits, and so on. I walked in with my cotten Indian pants, a "white" walmart tee, my mud stained toms, and my hair greasy from a lice treatment earlier that morning (I don't have lice. It's just a precaution). When we got to our room, there sitting in front of the window was a massage chair. I may or may not have spent fifteen minutes on that chair. I took a hot, clean shower that didn't just dribble out. I then took a bubble bath and soaked three months of dirt off my body. I've never felt so clean in my life. Then we ordered room service. I had a pizza and a chicken burger. Heaven! Not to mention a couple scoops of butterscotch ice cream. I'm addicted. The second my head hit my pillow I was dead asleep. The sheets were so soft! When I woke up I just laid in a white heaven. Thank you parents for spoiling me rotten.

P.Y.T

2011-03-08T10:06:00.000-08:00

My parents helped in the school today. They corrected essay books, worked in the computer lab, and helped in English classes. Celina asked them to speak on positive reinforcement in the teacher meeting. My Dad talked about how positive reinforcement eventually helped him achieve his dream of playing in the NFL. One coach believed in him and since one coach believed in him, he believed in himself too. He discussed the importance of the ratio 8:1, eight positive comments for every one negative, criticizing comment. My Mom talked about how children will reach the potential if we have faith in them but dwell on the negative if we don't. These teachers grew up with their teachers hitting and beating them. They don't understand positive reinforcement. I really like when my Dad also gave them positive feedback by telling them how amazing they were; how much they are changing the lives of these children; and how he reveres them for that. These teachers are making a difference in these children's lives and I have the utmost respect for them as well.

Shankar is the fastest student here at Rising Star. Shaun was showing him track technique and asked my Dad to come over to help. Shankar was taking my Dad's advice very seriously. His determination was very evident. My Dad loved giving Shankar tips. After about 15 minutes, Shankar looked just that much faster.

Mariyambee read "The Fish Who Could Talk" to me and my parents. She is in second standard and an amazing reader. She had never read that book before. When she got to the word enormous, she paused for half a second, sounded it out, and then said it perfectly. My Mom and I were so impressed and she just smiled up at us with this look of, "Yeah, I know I just totally figured out that big word on my own". I love her so much. I then sat and rode the bikes with little girls sitting on the back where people put their bags. I love their little laughs as we speed on the paths and dodge near accidents.

Teaching the younger ones how to ride a bike is a challenge. I first walk with them, holding on to the handles while they first get the pedaling motion down which takes longer than you think. I don't think they'll be ready for me to just give them one big push anytime soon.

My Dad, Mom, Chris, CJ, Vel, and I went for a parota outing. Since parota is my favorite, I wanted my parents to try it too. On the way over to Uthirmeur, Vel found a station that was playing "P.Y.T" by Michael Jackson. My Mom and I freaked out. If there is one thing that reminds me of my Mom, it's Michael Jackson. My Dad about died because my Mom and I were jamming through India, passing rice paddies, and shops singing Michael Jackson. Of course. My parents loved the parota. They were astonished when the total game to 216 rupees for six people. That's about four American dollars total for everyone's food. Funny thing is, the owner thought my Mom's reaction meant that she thought the price was too high.

We head off to Delhi tomorrow! I loved showing my parents the real India. Now they'll be able to relate and reminisce with me about certain places and people that I love. I can't wait to see the Taj again and see more of Delhi, especially with my parents. I don't ever want them to leave!

Kill Two Birds With One Stone

2011-03-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

Our day started at 5:50 in the morning. I rolled out of bed from the world's worst night of sleep ever. I had the worst headache that would not go away. Instead of trying to sleep it off, I shouldn't have been lazy and taken the ibuprofen sooner. My stomach wasn't appreciating the aching from my head and decided to be upset too. I was waking up every half hour from 12-5. Good times. Thank heavens I rolled out of bed though, because my parents and I had an amazing day.

A little quick note before the stories, last night we went on a walk through the village and saw Moorthy's house. They asked Rising Star for a loan to build their house and have already paid half of it off! They're very proud. We were able to go visit them at their house.

That morning, we drove over to the Bharathapuram colony for a hindu wedding. The ceremony started at 6:30 in the morning. The streets were lined with lights and indian music was blaring throughout the colony. We followed the crowd to the brides house and there they were. She looked absolutely terrified. This was an arranged marriage as they all are out here. Fortunately, instead of her being 16 and married off to a 50 year old man, she was 18 and marrying a 24 year old who has a house painting job. She still looked terrified. It was weird for me to think that she was two years younger than me. The marriage factor makes me feel like I'm so much younger than her.

They left for the hindu temple up on the hill. The crowd followed them up to the temple and huddled in the small, crammed space. Basically what happened, is they passed around trays with flames that they all touched with their hands and then their head; they passed around a coconut with flowers all around it and touched the coconut then their head afterward grabbing some flowers from the tray.

The husband and wife then take turns putting on these huge flower necklace type things around their necks. They then prayed to their gods, I'm assuming, and marked their foreheads. Everyone tossed flowers onto them as the husband put a necklace around his wife.

Where I live in India, married women wear toe rings. This is because when a man is walking around, he supposed to look at the ground. If he sees a woman's feet with no toe rings, he's allowed to look up at her. If he sees that her toes have rings, he's not allowed to look up past her feet. The husband put the toe rings on his new wife.

The family from both sides then took a picture of them presenting them with a bowl of what seemed like presents.

They then tied her sari to his cloth hanging down his shoulder and headed to the proceeding temples worshiping the gods.

My Mom, Dad, Shaun, and I were then sat at their breakfast feast. My Mom was extremely nervous she was going to get sick because they sprinkled water onto the banana leaves. I had to reassure her she'd be fine, especially since they weren't serving any meat. They served us idly which is my Dad's new found favorite Indian food. He cleared his whole plate. My Mom and I on the other hand had already had breakfast and were not hungry. They loaded our plates with food. The food was delicious but I was struggling having to force it down into an already satisfied stomach. I have practiced from my many years of childhood making it look like you've eaten, which is what I basically did.

After eating, we had to wait for the medical van to come pick us up in an hour and a half. We sat and talked with the people of the wedding. They all knew we were from Rising Star so parents and grandparents came up to us to tell us who their kids were. I met Nagu's mom who is one of my favorite kids. She looks just like her mom. Grandparents pulled up on a motorbike and told us their grandson was Karthik in UKG (kindergarten). I love meeting the families of the children because you gain a sense of where they come from and who they go home to during their breaks.

Since we had time to kill, we went over to the barbershop. He is honestly the sweetest man ever. His smile, I think, is one of the best smiles in the world. When I see him smile, it makes me so happy. I wish my smile had that affect on people. That smile shone through as we watched him cut his customers hair.

I was then able to show my mom the Bindu Art School, which is where the leprosy afflicted have started their own painting business. Their artwork has been showcased around the world and sells for over a hundred in some places. Some of the artists were asked to go to Austria where a museum was exhibiting their artwork. Lines of people waited to see them and asked for their autographs. They now have dignity and honor that they did not have years before as leprosy afflicted. Their website is here. My Dad said seeing them made him appreciate their artwork we have hanging up in our house even more. We bought three more pieces from them. Uma is my favorite artist. All of my paintings are from her. Here is one of the artists Lakshmi. She was nice enough to let me take a picture with her.

The medical van then picked us up and we headed to a hospital to check on one of our kids who had broke out into hives on Saturday and then on Sunday. My Dad went inside and got a glimpse of an Indian hospital which is very different than an American hospital. One thing that's different is when they wash their hands, they run their hands under water and shake the water off. That's it. No sanitation.

We then headed to the leprosy colony Chetti Punniyam. I saw Basha's uncle and aunt. Basha's mother continually tells him that he's not smart and doesn't belong at school. She wants him to beg on the streets and stay in the colony with her. Every time I see a family member of Basha, I talk about how bright Basha is and how well he is doing in school. This is all complete truth because he's doing so well right now and has so much potential I know he will live up to if we keep his mother from taking him out of school. Celina told me that Basha came up and told her that his mom told him that they were going to go into hiding when he came home so he wouldn't have to go to school. I feel that if I stress to his family that Basha is succeeding and very smart, that they will maybe help us convince his mother that he needs to stay in school. Meanwhile, I taught my Mom how to take their blood pressure, pulse, and how to write it in their charts.

My Dad washed the feet of the leprosy patients. He had a couple feet with gruesome sores.

I loved being able to watch them experience my passion and love it themselves too. I'm so grateful that they were able to come to India and visit all the places and people I love so much.

Here is what my Mom has to say about her experience.

India is AMAZING. The people, the culture, the food is like nothing I have experienced before. The Hindu wedding was beautiful. The stark contrasts between the poverty of the colony and the bright colors of the clothing is remarkable. I am constantly amazed how dignified and beautiful even the most destitute look here in India. I was nervous about showing up to a wedding without knowing anyone in the wedding party, colony or the whole country for that matter. They were so welcoming. When it came time for the wedding banquet we were one of the first people seated. As they laid down the banana leaves and washed them with water and then piled it up with food, all I could think about was I hope I don't get sick. After taking my first bite I had mixed emotions...this is delicious, I don't want to get sick, I don't want to offend...so I ate. The Art Center was beautiful. The roof was covered in a climbing vine with flowers. Inside were the leprosy afflicted seated and painting bright vibrant works of art. What a great way to give those with no hope a sense of purpose and success. We loaded onto the medical bus and headed off to another leprosy colony where they set up the clinic. The work accomplished through this clinic is life changing. I checked blood pressure and pulse. Some of the patients were happy, optimistic and smiling. Others were in pain, others crying and some depressed. The open sores and deformities are astonishing. When you live in the U.S. it is hard to imagine that these physical ailments still exist. Like Eric said, "You will never read the New Testament the same again". I can see why Audrey loves it. I love it. I love watching Audrey busy with service and love. She is a blessing to all those lives she touches here in India.

My Parents Came for Parents Day

2011-03-05T09:52:00.000-08:00

To say "I love my Mom and Dad so much" would be an understatement. I've missed them so unbelievably much. This is the longest I've gone without seeing them. Even when I'm living at BYU, I go home pretty much every weekend and sometimes on the weeknights when I go watch my brother play Highland basketball. My Mom also drives down to Provo once a week and takes me to lunch. They're honestly my best friends. When I graduated from high school, my parents took me to Paris and London. It was the most memorable trip because I was lucky enough to have them all to myself. I had the time of my life hanging out with them. I've been anticipating them coming to India for forever it seems like. I'd tell everyone the count down: the kids, the housemothers, the drivers, the volunteers, the Hendershots. Two more weeks, one more week, three more days. I've been dying! Then today I woke up and realized I was going to see them in just a few hours. Shaun joked that they had to contain me from bouncing off the wall I was so excited.

The best part about today was that the kids' parents came to campus as well. Today was Annual Day. Each standard, or grade, performed a dance number for their parents. Their parents' eyes would light up and they'd smile while pointing out to the other parents their children. My favorite dance was first standard's. They danced to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". Two little boys were the lions and the other kids would dance around them while occasionally tapping them to wake them up. They all soon became lions at the end and roared while reaching out to the audience. I also loved the traditional Indian dances. The girls all had gorgeous white jewels in their hair and wore beautiful gold jewelry. The movements with their hands were very intricate and perfectly placed. I wanted to learn.

After the performance, Vikrum handed me the phone, Steele Hendershot wanted to talk to me. I got on and he told me my parents didn't make it in; he asked me if I was sure I had given them the right time. I then slightly panicked because I didn't know how to reach them and I just wanted to see them so bad. Then Steele laughed and told me that they were already on their way and should arrive to RSO in an hour and a half. Steele, Steele, Steele.

That was the longest hour and a half of my life. I was standing outside of the school when they pulled in. I waved and walked behind the car until they stopped. When they got out and gave me a hug, my eyes literally welled up with tears of joy. I was so excited to see them and to have them here in my favorite place in the whole entire world. Stephenraj, Michaelraj, Moorthy, and Nagaraj all followed me as well. They just hopped right in as a little welcoming committee. They helped my parents roll the luggage to the hostel while introducing themselves. While Moorthy was rolling a suitcase he yelled, "I'm going to Amerrrrrica!" They all sat and talked to my parents as we walked around campus. Moorthy pointed out to us a huge snake they had killed earlier in the morning that was now in the trash can. Stephenraj sat and talked to my Mom and Dad as I showed them around campus.

Everyone that met my parents was genuinely excited to see them. That's one thing I love about India. People are genuine here, truly genuine. Anytime I introduced my parents to someone, they without fail would say, "This is not your mother! She is so young! She is your sister!" Or something along those lines. I loved introducing my parents to all of my friends here and all of the children. They all came up and would say, "This is your mother and father?" It was also fun because my Mom would say to me things like, "Oh yes I know him from the stories you told me." I loved having them actually meet them. At times I feel like it's so hard to really express India through words. Where I live, what I see, and what I do cannot be fully expressed through what I write. Now I feel like my parents really understand me and it'll be even more fun for me to talk about India with them because now they can relate. They called Rising Star an oasis and that's truly what it is, a small oasis in the heart of India.

We went back to their room and they unloaded their suitcase full of food for me. I took it all out and just laid in the pile. I immediately opened a fruit leather, turkey jerkey bag, and the goldfish. India, my parents, and American food, I could have died right then and gone to heaven. They started to feel drowsy so we went on a bike ride to the junction. I showed them the tailor and picked up some tops he had just made for me for 120 ruppees. We stopped and drank mango juice at the store I always stop by. We also went to the ice cream store and tried my favorite, butterscotch ice cream. I suggested shopping for Emily real fast. All the women in this part of India wear these long nightgowns that they call nighties. We went across the street and shopped for a nightie in a store that has every shelf covered in fabric.

On our way back, we passed the Anuj tile factory. Outside there were men playing cricket. They flagged down my Dad and asked him to play. He, of course, instantly hopped off his bike and joined them. We had to hop across this muddy, gross little stream of stagnant water. I thought I stepped on a rock, but it wasn't and my foot sank straight into the mud. My shoe was never found again. The men were so sweet though. I had five people searching for my lost black old navy flip flop. Here they are. This picture doesn't really show how disgusting this water is. Yummmmy. I unfortunately had to bike with only one shoe on the way back.

Meanwhile, my Dad proved that he had mad cricket skills. The first hit he had was out of the park? Home run? I don't know the phrase they use, but they all cheered and clapped for him. They were all so excited to play with my Dad. Another thing I love about India is that they're so accepting. They just let my Dad join their game and instantly loved him. I loved watching my Dad get a taste of the real India. First day in India and he's just playing cricket with the tile factory workers no big deal.

After our bike ride, we sat and talked to the children after prayer time. The boys all looked at my Dad's watch and probably changed the time at least fifteen times. All the girls kept coming up and telling me that my Mom was beautiful. I loved seeing the children on my parents laps telling them their names, what standard they were in, and so on. Then came dinner and we sat with Kala. She gave us some lemon rice which was delicious. Padmini, the cook, also made us french fries! I love her.

Movie night followed soon after and I once again became the mattress. I love it though. There is no better feeling in the world than snuggling with a little child or maybe two, make that three, no wait, four. During the movie, Basha kept telling me I looked like Rapunzel. I'm not blonde, but to them I guess I am which makes me laugh. After the movie, I went onto the roof with Celina and star gazed. The night sky is truly breathtaking. The stars fill the sky with light and a lightbug or two cross the sky above us. The frogs ribbet along with the crickets playing their symphony. It breaks the empty silence and soothes my soul. That was the best way to end one of the best days I've had here in India.

I Love....

2011-03-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

Reshma.

her little voice.

when she asks me to pick her up.

when she rests her head on my shoulder.

when she puts her cheek against mine.

Kanmani.

his handwriting. He puts in the extra effort.

that he wants to be a math teacher when he grows up.

his devious little ways.

his puppy dog eyes.

Aravind

his smile.

the way he scrunches his nose when he smiles.

when he falls asleep on me during movie nights every Saturday.

the way he tries to catch a ball. The ball always goes right through his arms.

Christraj

his love for life.

his crocodile smile.

his energy.

his little voice.

his big, deep brown eyes.

his dance moves.

Peter.

his hugs.

how little he is.

Archana

her smile.

how she puts her hands in front of my eyes and makes me guess who it is.

how she kisses my cheeks.

how she reaches up to me asking me to hold her.

her mom Angelee who works with me in the library.

Priya.

how she thinks I have a baby in my stomach.

her gentleness.

her hugs.

her affectionate nature.

her peaceful voice.

her laugh.

Mariyambee.

how beautiful she is.

the blue flower clip she always wears.

how she is an amazing reader and she's only in second grade.

when she reads to me.

when she sits next to me and we talk on the playground.

her radiant smile.

her selflessness.

her love for her brother Basha.

her hugs.

how she is my sunshine.

K. Sathya

how she calls me Pinkie.

when she sits next to me on church on Sundays.

that she marked my favorite scriptures in her scriptures.

how she comes and talks to me while I work in the library.

how bright she is.

how beautiful she is.

Krishnamoorti.

his responsible nature.

watching him take care of those around him.

that he's only twelve yet in the eighth grade.

his smile.

Ebenezer.

his hair that naturally stands up in the front.

the way he smiles as he comes up to give me a hug.

that he comes up to talk to me anytime he sees me.

Anandavel.

that he is so shy.

the way he chucks rocks into the air.

when he plays catch with me and asks me to throw it high.

the way he cuddles up close to me at movie night or when I read him a book.

that he yells auntie to me and then runs away.

watching him run around with his friends throwing, kicking anything in sight.

Sagayamary.

her pigtails.

her sweet voice.

that she comes into the library everyday to check out a book.

her hugs.

the way she says Audrey.

Basha.

how bright he is.

his laugh.

how he walks with his hands in his pockets.

when he hugs me and doesn't let go.

that I get to help him with math everyday.

Sathya Priya.

her smile.

her braids.

that she walks around with her arms around her friends.

that I am here with these beautiful children.

that I can see their beautiful smiles and sweet faces each and everyday.

that I can love them.

Lola Goes to the Doctor

2011-03-03T21:37:00.000-08:00

On our way to the colony yesterday, we took Lola to the vet.

She lay in the aisle of the tempo quietly resting at our feet.

Here is Lola at her Doctor consultation.

Here is Lola getting her rectal temperature taken. She had a fever the other day, but good news, she no longer has a fever.

Here is Lola getting her shot. After the shot, she walked/kicked it out with style. Step, step, kick. Step, step, kick.

Here is Lola with her wound from running away through barbed wire fences. Ouch. She quickly ran away from the clinic to the car afterward. Poor little lamb.

After our visit to the bet, we then headed to the Bharathapuram colony that's also known as the Bindu Art colony. This is one of my favorite colonies. The people in this colony are always very gracious and welcoming. I love their sweet faces. One thing I especially love are their smiles. When they smile, their eyes literally light up. Their smiles, make me smile and make my day a hundred times better. The leprosy afflicted here in India are the amazing people in this world. In a life where everything is against them, in a life where they are unloved and rejected by society, in a life where they are placed in the forgotten corners of the world, they endure with a smile on their faces. As Navamani, the nurse, was cutting out dead skin from a sore on a ladies foot, she was squealing from the pain she could slightly feel. After the nurse was done cutting, she was giggling and laughing talking to her while she bandaged her foot. To me this was a great example. She could complain, she could be in a bad mood, but instead she laughed it off. This man's legs were swollen, so swollen that they oozed. As Chris washed of his legs, the water slowly turned to a creamy color. This man speaks English very well. I asked him how he was doing. Instead of focusing on his seeping, swollen legs, he told me about his day, how he was doing good, and asked where my flower pen was. These people never cease to amaze me. This is the barber. He is the sweetest man. His daughter is getting married on Monday. I wish he would have smiled for the picture but for some reason Indians never smile unless you take the picture without them knowing.

That night I went into Uthirmeur to pick up some cake for another girl's night out and to eat my favorite, parota. On the way out, I saw a woman selling massive amounts of glass bangles. I bought 48 glass bangles from her for a grand total of 60 rupees which is a little over a dollar. When I asked Vel to tell the woman that I wanted another color, Vel said, "Nooo Audrey." He thought I was going to wear them all at once and told me that wouldn't look very good. I laughed and told him I was only going to wear one color at a time.

I love walking through the busy towns of India. I love the noises and sometimes the smells. I love looking at the produce stands and the people cooking out front of their shops. I love watching the women walk by in their colorful saris with buckets, and bags balanced on top of their heads. I love the commotion. One thing that always makes me nervous though is the traffic. A couple days ago, I was walking through Chengalput with the other nurse that works for Rising Star, Uma. We had to cross the street to get back to our car. There was so much traffic and chaos. By the time we got into the middle of this busy intersection, we were closed in by two huge buses, and cars. Rickshaws and motorcycles weaved in and out flying past us making it so we couldn't cross. I grabbed Uma's arm and as she was squealing, I was yelling, "I'm going to die! I'm going to die! I'm going to die!" We both laughed about this later in the car with everyone.

One thing that is amazing to me is each person has their own story. Out of the thousands of people I see in the towns, they each have their own life and every single life is different. I often wish I knew their stories. I see the people laying on the sides of the street and I often wonder have they always been there? Or what happened to them that forced them out onto the streets? I look at the men sitting in the shops and I wonder what he goes home to every night.

Louisa May Alcott said,

"We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing."

Girl's Night Out

2011-03-02T06:55:00.000-08:00

Meet Lola. Lola the lamb that is.

Lola is the newest addition to the Rising Star family. A group of eight went up North to scout out a leprosy colony that we may start helping soon and ended up bringing back Lola on that seven and a half hour drive. I'm glad I wasn't in that car for that length of time considering the car was packed and it smelt like pee and lamb droppings the whole way back. Lola has a collar and a leash. She goes on walks with the Hendershot girls. They took her running with them in the morning around the track. Everyone loves her here: the workers, the cleaning ladies (especially Meera), the security, Dr. Susan, the Hendershots, the kids, and the volunteers. Yesterday, Lola escaped. She was chased by stray dogs. Well everyone was in a mass search for Lola the lamb. The security were out looking for her; the land workers were out looking for her; the kids were out looking for her; the drivers were out looking for her. She wasn't anywhere on the road. No one picked her up in the village. It started to get darker and darker. Everyone was feeling quite dismal thinking that we were never going to find our poor little lost lamb. The sun was setting and darkness started to hover. One of our drivers went out on his motorcycle. Then it came, cheers. "WE FOUND HER! WE FOUND HER!" She was hiding in a bush out in the fields about a mile away from campus. Her ear was all torn up from getting it caught on a barbed wire fence as she was running away. Dr. Susan wrapped it with gauze. Lola's legs were shaking and she became very clingy for quite some time. After a couple days of recuperation, she's back to acting like royalty.

This is a baby cobra. They are supposedly even more deadly than the adults. Adult cobras take into consideration the size of their victim and inject a certain amount of venom based on the size of what they are attacking. Baby cobras just inject you with as much venom as possible. We were all sitting outside of the school, when a couple school girls yelled snake! Steele rushed over, soon followed by John who is a security guard here. Steele broke it's back and so we could look at it alive still without dying. We had a two week streak where we killed a snake everyday. Vipers, kraits, cobras you name it, we killed it.

Last week I went on a parota outing with Robin. While we were sitting down in the restaurant, I heard a massive explosion that honestly sounded like a bomb went off. Then we heard what sounded like gunfire. Then an "ambulance", which is a van with a siren, came blazing right past us. When I was a junior in high school, I was a witness in a small robbery where a man came in and shot a gun at my favorite mexican restaurant. Ever since then, anytime I hear something that sounds like gunfire or a loud bang or explosion, I hate to admit it, but I get really nervous for a couple of seconds. I become anxious and start to plan how to get out. The driver could tell that I was nervous and laughed it off by saying, "politician". There was a huge politician meeting in this town that night right by us and I guess they were setting off these firecrackers, but they don't shoot into the sky and are basically noise. I then laughed it off. Bless my heart. These were the banners, posters, and flags on the street for the rally.

At the star store, I sell a movie night. For thirty stars, kids can come to my "house" and watch a movie with treats. I had five girls over last night. I went to go pick them up from the dining hall and they were so excited. They were literally skipping to the house. I opened the door to our movie/hang out room and turned on the lights. They saw the table of treats and squealed with excitement. They ran over just looking at everything I had for them. I set out pieces of hot pink cake, chocolates, boomer bubblegum, popcorn, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, honey, bread, orange soda, mango juice, and a plate of Indian cookies they all love. They were thrilled to have peanut butter and jelly. They have never had it before. When I gave it to them and they bit into it, their eyes lit up and they kept telling me how good it was and how much they loved it. As they were eating it, they kept saying oh thank you Auntie! They also wanted honey and they love bread. Bread really isn't a part of their diet so it's a treat for them. They dipped their fingers in the bowl of honey and "mmmmed" as they sucked it off their fingertips. I also brought ice over for their drinks which they also died over, they never have ice. They were so gracious. I wish I could please everyone in life with a good old combination of peanut butter and jelly and an Island Princess Barbie movie. I had so much fun watching their reactions in the movie and being able to spend a night with them. Last night was definitely one of the best nights I've had here. I love them so much.

Cha Cha Cha

2011-02-28T20:47:00.000-08:00

I sat down on a bed; a bed that had strings strung across it that served as a mattress. I looked through the two rows of their living arrangements and saw a woman sweeping with a bundle of sticks. They slowly started to file out and they each greeted us with a smile or hug. We've become good friends over the course of these past few months. After all this is the Moot colony, and there are no more than ten patients there. Soroja had a grimace look. She had supposedly gotten into an argument with her husband Krishnan before we arrived. Though Soroja is very petite, she is one feisty woman. Whatever grief she was giving her husband, the scowl soon left after we all started to dance. Jaira was an actor, entertainer, performer before he contracted leprosy. He speaks a little english. He is so full of energy and life. He always has a smile on his face and sings while he dances. He danced the cha cha cha with me. Nothing in that moment of time could have crept into my mind to wipe away the smile plastered on my face or bottle that laughter inside of me.

Shaun Parry turned on some Tamil music and we all sang and danced with the people in the colony. They waved their hands above their head with huge smiles on their faces as Jaira was coming up with phrases for us to say in Tamil that went with the music. They laughed as I pulled out surfing dance moves, and rolled my fists in the air. I sat down with Saroja and helped move her arms since she's missing a leg and can't stand up. A smile broke out across her face and then she started to dance on her own with the rest of us. Here they are with missing legs, fingers, toes, eyes; some can barely hear; some can't walk, yet they are laughing, dancing, and enjoying their life.They don't dwell on what's happened to them. Often we look behind us and dwell on what has happened to us somewhere on our path. When we look behind, we don't see what's there right in front of us. We shouldn't dwell on what's behind us. We should occasionally look back to remember, but we should still move forward from what we've learned and enjoy where we are in that moment.

After dancing, I brought out my nail polish. I sat down with the woman and painted their nails shades of red, pink, purple, and blue. I loved seeing them smile as they saw the color painted on their nails. A little bit of nail polish helped us all bond over the femininity we each have.

This day will be a day I will always remember. A moment shared is very special. We come in contact with people and whether we know it or not, we may remain in their memories. Take these opportunities to be left as a memory that people will want to remember, not to forget.

When It Rains... It Pours

2011-02-22T10:39:00.000-08:00

"Auntie, look rain!"
I turned my head from the chalkboard and looked outside to see rain, not just a drizzle, but buckets of rain. I then grew a little antsy. I love rain in India and I was eager to get out there. The bell rang. I walked Basha back to his class and then realized I had about half an hour of free time. I took my shoes off and felt my feet sink into the orange mud. I reached the track and started running. I ran and I ran and I ran. My hair became plastered to my face and within ten seconds, I looked like I had just jumped into a pool. The kids waved to me as I lapped around each time. Nothing felt better than smooth mud cushioning my bare feet and rain pelting my body as I ran. Once I stopped, I did the classic close your eyes and look up at the sky sort of deal, which made me think of this quote:

"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain there would be no rainbow."

-Gilbert K. Chesterton

Love life. Face your trials head on. You know what I've always found so interesting? God always takes us somewhere or brings people into our lives just when we need them. He doesn't abandon us so look up instead of down and run till there's a rainbow.

Peace and Blessings From an Elephant

2011-02-19T12:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Raja Kumari handed me an envelope with Ms. Audrey Bergeson written on the front. I opened it up and read, "You are cordially invited to the Science Fair". I looked up at her, smiled, and told her I couldn't wait. She smiled back at me and thanked me for helping the kids with their experiments and research. For awhile, I have been helping come up with science experiments. A few of the kids had to research a scientist that they could give a speech about their life. I helped them think of a scientist and learn about their life. Today was the science fair. The beginning was a speech competition and something along the lines of a jeopardy competition with science facts. The kids stood up and recited pages worth of information about their scientist. I was very impressed. The jeopardy type competition was funny because Robin, a short term volunteer, and I couldn't hear or understand what the man, who was supposed to be asking the questions, was saying. Robin would lean over to me and ask what he just said. After awhile I finally just told her I gave up on trying. At one point we thought he asked about craisins.

After those competitions, we went upstairs to the science experiments. I was blown away. There was a volcano,

rocket; a boat that had a propel powered by a battery; a pollution experiment with smoking towers;

one girl made handmade, all natural mosquito repellent;

others made cute handbags from recycled newspaper; one girl had litmus paper and was testing how acidic lemons. Those kids were so proud of their experiments; they were beaming. I was so proud of them. This science fair was honestly amazing.

We left the science fair early, piled into a car, and drove to a city two hours away called Pondicherry. This city used to be a French settlement. The streets are somewhat clean and there is a nice promenade along the beach. My favorite part of today was walking to a temple and receiving an elephant blessing. You walk up to this decorated elephant named Lakshmi and put a rupee into her snout. She then puts it on her trunk and taps you on the head. I walked up to Lakshmi and she extended her trunk to me. I put the coin in her snout, she lifted up her trunk, and tapped me on the head.

I loved it. Elephants have been my obsession since the first time I came to India. This woman was selling this gorgeous pink flowers on the side of the road. I LOVE flowers. They're one of my favorite things. I love it when people give me flowers and sometimes I just buy them for myself. Well I couldn't resist and bought two. I wish they sold them in the states.

Pondicherry is known for meditation and yoga. We went into a place called the Ashram. This is a place of meditation. Unfortunately, I couldn't take any pictures inside the courtyard. We walked in through the gates into beautiful gardens and flowers. It's silent as people sit and meditate. In the center of the courtyard is a marble table full of intricate designs made from flowers. People kneel at the table and rest their heads on the marble while touching the flowers. The silence soothed my heart and a sense of peace flooded my being. We sat down and the sun streamed onto my face. I love when I can sit in silence and just think. When there's no outside distraction everything's more clear. When we are quiet, we simply hear more.

A Drop in the Ocean

2011-02-18T09:56:00.000-08:00

I want to change the world. I want to make a difference. This is my passion and this is what I plan to do for the rest of my life. It never leaves; the thought lingers and screams for attention when I ponder or consider options for my future. I don't even know how to describe what I feel. I don't know how to express in words my desire to truly make a difference in people's lives.

Mother Theresa said,

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But if the drop was not there, I think the ocean would be less by missing that one drop. We don't have to think in numbers. We can only love one person at a time, serve one person at a time."

When I read that quote, it served as a nice reminder that I can be one drop and still impact the world. I have faith that the Lord knows how much I want to serve His children. He knows it's one of my hearts deepest desires. I know that if I put one hundred percent into everything I do, He's going to help me find the opportunities.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider(s)

2011-02-17T11:09:00.000-08:00

Eyes on the prize. Eyes on the prize.... and SMACK. Got it. I opened my palms and saw the dead mosquito squished in my hands with a little pool of blood surrounding it. "Well that's nice," I say as I wipe the blood on my shirt. There is no such thing as clean here in India. Sweat, dirt, blood, you name it, it's on my shirt. Best part is, I really don't care. We were sitting down in this little parota joint we love and mosquitoes were swarming us. Most mosquitoes I've seen in a life time easily. As I was slapping away, trying to kill as many as possible, Robin, a short term volunteer, was spraying me and the surrounding area with bug spray. It was quite the sight to see. The Hendershots have this amazing bug killing contraption. It looks like a small tennis racket. The wires have an electric current that runs through them once you push and hold the red button. One simple push and swing with this racket kills bugs on the spot. I started fantasizing playing tennis with the bugs in replace of the tennis ball. If I had one of these miracle workers, you'd probably find me focused on a bug and then see me serve to kill it or maybe even a nice backhand. It's probably a good thing I don't have one.

Those weren't the only bugs who came to an unfortunate demise. I had two, count them, two spiders in my room today. If there's one thing you need to know about me, I HATE SPIDERS. I can't even look at them without getting the heebie jeebies. I can't kill them either. Even if it's smaller than my pinky nail, I can't do it. I have to go grab my brothers, sister, or bribe a roommate to kill it for me. Well today I killed two, count them, two spiders. Here's a story though of one out of the two I killed today. I spotted this reddish brown spider up on my wall so I grabbed a flip flop. I whacked my flip flop to kill it and it literally scattered last second. I murmured to myself something like "nasty little bugger" as I went in for another attempt. As I was winding up for the kill, it jumped off the wall onto my shirt. Yep. You heard me right. It jumped. I screamed and brushed it frantically off me. Oh, but wait, it starts jumping towards me. After a couple whacks, I finally killed it. I also can't pick up the dead spider in a tissue to throw it away. I really don't like to feel the bones crush as I pick it up, so that spider is still on the bottom of my flip flop and there's another one on the side of my wall. Call them trophies if you will.

I know it's a tiny spider. Baby steps.

For awhile now, I have been trying to help Basha understand division. Boomer is a gum that all the kids here love. I have him draw the pieces of boomer and divide them into the groups as the problem instructs. We've been working on it for awhile and I felt like the whole division concept was blowing over his head. Today, I stood at the chalkboard and wrote down ten divided by two ready to feel that slight discouraging feeling. He drew the ten pieces of boomer and two circles to theoretically split the gum between him and Mariyambee, his sister. Before I knew it there were his gears working and turning and before I knew it he wrote the number five in each circle. He looked at me unsure and said, "Five Auntie?" I went crazy. "BASHA! That's right! You're so smart! I didn't even have to tell you what to do! I'm so proud of you!" A couple coins of confidence were added to his little bank and he continued on figuring out the rest of his questions. That moment right there was one of the best feelings in the world. I'm so proud of him.

Sara Swati (unsure of the spelling) has been offering to help me with some henna. Henna is a brown paste that comes from leaves of a plant. They squeeze the brown paste out of a tube into the design on your hands or feet. You then have to wait for it to dry and basically crack off your skin. Then the light orange slowly turns to a dark brown and you have a temporary tattoo for a couple of weeks. The only downside to henna is it kind of leaves a funky smell on your hand for awhile. When the Indians use henna, they cover every inch of their palms. They always tell me I don't have enough and try to convince me to do more. This time, I decided to just let her decorate my fingers as well. I love the intricate designs. I wish I had the talent because then I'd buy some and take it home with me, but I'd end up with an orange blob stain on my hand.

Dragons, Ulcers, and Mud, Oh My!

2011-02-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night, we surprised the kids with a movie night since they didn't have school the next day. The kids walked, in earmuffs and all, with huge smiles repeatedly saying, "Dragon movie Auntie!" They could not wait to watch How to Train Your Dragon. I sat down with the usual UKG (kindergarten boys) and Basha. They all held onto me with anticipation and when the movie started, the kids cheered. Celina, who was in the volunteer hostel, said it sounded like people cheering at a football game. A little boy held onto my arm and squealed anytime there was a ferocious battle. Their eyes were huge as they watched the boy soaring on his dragon through the clouds and they never failed to cheer when the good guys flew in. By the end of the movie, I was a mattress. I had two little boys completely laying on me and two cuddled up on my sides. One little boy let put my sweatshirt in his lap and let me rest my head and in return, I let him rest his chin on my head. Watching them laugh, cheer, and love that movie was a treat. That moment of time, was a little piece of heaven for me.

Yesterday, I ventured into Chengalput with six girls and two little boys. They bought this outing from the star store. The star store is how we teach the kids to earn "money" and how to save it. Everyday, a child has an opportunity to earn one star. If they misbehave, they lose that star. They have a possibility of earning seven stars a week. Every Tuesday, the star store opens. They can choose to either save those seven stars or spend them. Some children have over 100 stars. One thing they can buy is an outing to Chengalput where we give them 75 rupees to spend and buy them ice cream or parota. This excursion costs 45 stars. CJ, Cole, and I were in charge of one group. The kids dressed up for the occasion. Smiles radiated from their faces and you could hear the excitement in their voices. We all piled into the sumo (our car) and made the half hour drive to Chengalput. The whole way they were singing Tamil songs and laughing. Nagaraj put on CJ's "cowboy" hat that he bought in Mamalapuram. He put the strings behind his ears and cinched them up to his chin. It drowned his little head but it was adorable to see this little boy underneath a huge hat walking through the streets of India. As we were walking along, I was constantly worrying. I had to keep track of what they were buying and get receipts so we could be reimbursed. Doesn't sound hard, but when you're trying to tell someone you need a bill in a foreign language and they don't want to give you one, it's hard. I was always counting their bobbing heads. My heart dropped into my stomach for a split second when I though we were missing one, only to turn to my side and see them right next to me. I joked with Cole that I was going to end up with ulcers after this trip. My poor future children. I'm going to be a worry wart.

Just for fun, here's a picture of a cow on the street we were shopping on eating some unusual foreign grass...

The kids bought things from cards, roses, chains, snacks to harmonicas and ribbon. We bought them ice cream and piled back into the sumo. I loved watching them hop out of the car with their bags of goodies. It was worth all the stress.

The volunteers then headed over to the bird sanctuary. Last time I went in the morning while the sun was rising. This time we went to go see the sunset. I had already seen the birds, so after a few minutes of observing, I went to venture through the rice patties.

The little "paths" throughout all the rice fields were muddy. Some parts were more muddy than others, which led to me sinking into mud at one point. Whoops.

I will never be able to get over the sunsets here. They are one of my favorite things in the whole entire world. The sky literally turns to deep shades of orange, red, purple, and pink. The sunsets are possibly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. This picture doesn't do any justice. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I really love living here.

Chennai

2011-02-10T23:55:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Mariyambee's birthday. On the children's birthday, they don't wear their uniform. The girls wear very colorful, bedazzled dresses, and put beautiful flowers in their hair. I loved seeing Mariyambee in her bright pink outfit, glittery headband and all. It's tradition that the birthday girl or boy passes out candy on their birthday. She gave me a delicious piece of orange eclair candy. They also go to the Hendershot's house and Sarah let's them pick something out of the birthday box. In the birthday box, there are bangles, notebooks, colored pencils, markers, earrings, necklaces, balls, etc. They LOVE the birthday box and look forward to it all year. The kids are constantly telling me when their birthdays are and they always look disappointed when I tell them mine is December 13th because "it is already gone". Birthdays are always a special day here.

Yesterday I went to Chennai. I spent most of the day in T. Nagar which is basically a 20 block market. I was in the heart of India. I was walking along side the road with rickshaws and motorbikes racing by me. Hoards of people surrounded me and you could hear them barking prices. There are these huge pieces of fruit that are cut up on the side of the road on these little carts. They're the size of a watermelon, green, and little soft spikes cover the whole fruit. They're cut in half and the seeds are pulled out. I don't know if it was the bucket of brown water sitting next to the cart, the flies hovering around the brown, dirty cart, or the man digging his hands into the fruit that made me think that there is no way this could be sanitary. This didn't stop me though from experiencing India. Vel, our driver, bought us some and laughed at me when I tried to bite into it. Around the seed is a gooey, soft flesh that you tear from the seed and eat. Once I learned my lesson, I tore the flesh from the seed and put it into my mouth. A sensational mix of banana and peach filled my mouth making me reach into our bag for another. The whole entire day, all I could think about was how much I love India and it's people. Words cannot describe how much I love India. In a place that has constant commotion, I surprisingly feel at peace. India and it's people have and will always remain in my heart.

If anyone was to describe India in two words, it would be sensory overload. The smells are overwhelming. I walked by incense shops and sweet corns stands only to be followed by that sewer and urine smell. India is trash. I was constantly hopping over piles of paper, boxes, bottles, wrappers, and rotting food. Though the streets are covered in trash, the beautiful saris still shine through and the gold jewelry glistens in the blaring sun. I walked through a sea of people the whole day and risked my life trying to cross streets where buses, rickshaws, bikes, motorbikes, and cars raced in and out of lanes, disobeying the red lights. Your ears are constantly ringing from people laying on their horns. The poor lay in the streets with people walking right by not paying attention to what's below them.

As I was walking through what seemed like a blur, one face was crystal clear. His white hair, sweet face, toothless grin, wrapped feet, and bandaged hands with missing fingers caused me to forget the commotion around me. He yelled for Vel and talked to him for a little. He comes from a leprosy colony I have spent a lot of time in, Bethel Nagar. While they were talking, I noticed his companion leaning on his cane with a mere three rupees in his hand. I've never seen anyone I've known as a beggar. They've always been strangers to me. It's always hard to see people you don't know begging, but to see a face you recognize is excruciatingly hard. Those are the moments I stumble. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help and it really frustrates me. He doesn't deserve to live this way. Contrary to those who believe leprosy is a curse from God, it's not his fault he contracted leprosy. This memory is one that will forever remain in my memory whether I want it to or not.

A Day in the Life

2011-02-08T10:47:00.000-08:00

"Five times what number gives you forty? "
Pause. There's a glazed over look in his eyes. He obviously doesn't even know where to start.
"Okay, what's five times one?"
A smile appears as he answers, "Five!"
"Good," I reply, "Now what's five times two?"
I see a few gears turn, just a couple since it doesn't take much to answer that question, and then I see a smile. "Ten," he replies confidently. We continue to go down the list. Slowly we pass of three, four, five, six, and then seven. I exclaim, "You're doing so great! You're very smart. What's five times eight?" This time instead of a couple, many gears are turning underneath that black hair. I can see them slowly turn through his dark brown eyes. Then there's the light bulb; the sudden look of realization. He then replies, "Forty." I point to the question on the paper. He glances and then a smile breaks out. He writes an eight in the missing blank. He's beaming and the glaze is gone. I proceed to help with with the math worksheets until the bells rings. He closes his notebook with "Basha 3 Standard" scribbled on the front. He smiles at me says thank you and tells me that he'll see me for math tomorrow.

I grab a plate and fill it with red rice. I open up the pot to sauce with vegetables, typical. I grab a hard boiled egg and sit down with Kala and the kids. I anticipate the spice and plunge a spoonful into my mouth. A couple chews and I'm surprisingly satisfied. I leave with a full stomach.

The day carries on. I do errands here and there. I then sit on the playground and feel two little hands cover my eyes. I then go through the list of children that do this daily. Archana? No. Christraj? No. Peter? No. Sagayamary? No. Priya? She uncovers my eyes and I see her smiling in her purple dress. She had picked flowers for my hair. She pins them in carefully and then sits down next to me while wrapping her arms around me. A few other girls hover around my hair and start to pull it in every sort of direction. "Auntie your hair is so soft!" A boy grabs a piece and rubs it onto his cheek. I laugh. They then feel my cheeks. "Auntie your cheeks are so soft!" A little girl marches up to me. She cuts to the chase and asks me, "Where are your babies?" I tell her I don't have any babies. I can tell by her confused expression that she doesn't understand. I explain to her I'm not married. She still doesn't understand because I'm 20. According to her, I should be married by now. They ask about my family and I tell them all about my parents and siblings as they braid my hair and comb their fingers through it.

Dinnertime comes and Priya yells to me, "Auntie! Padmini Auntie wants to see you!" I walk into the dining hall and she shows me a bowl of pineapple and a plate of papaya. My day was officially made. I leave with kids wrapping their arms around my waist and holding onto my legs.

I'm constantly thinking about how India is my heaven on earth. How could it not be? I live on a campus that is covered in coconut and mango groves. I'm surrounded by children who love and accept everyone. I meet the most gracious people in the leprosy colonies. There is honestly no other place in this world that brings me this happiness.

Monkeys Don't Play Sports

2011-02-05T11:20:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to throw this out there, I HATE monkeys. I've been completely brainwashed to think that they're cute creatures that crawl on your arms, hang from branches with their curly tails, and eat bananas. Thank you Animal Planet and Discovery Channel... for nothing but lies.

CJ took this picture of a monkey sitting about three feet away from us in the ruins. A picture's worth a thousand words and this one says evil. They growl; they bite; and worst of all they steal your food. I went to Mamallapuram yesterday. It's a beach town with these ancient temple carvings. All day I sat and discussed my hatred for the monkeys with the other volunteers. I hated on them in the bus; I saw them steal snacks from a kid, so I hated on them some more. Literally anytime I saw a monkey, I talked about how much I hate them and how much they terrify me. Well I was walking down the street by myself, looking at some beads, enjoying the sun with my mango drink dangling at my side when all of the sudden a monkey popped out of no where right in front of me. I look behind me, oh okay there's another! The first monkey went to grab for my delicious, cold, mango drink. Instantly the worst case scenario flashed through my mind. It went something like this: I decided to battle for my drink so the monkey bit me. I then had rabies and ended up in a hospital. I weighed the consequences in those five seconds while yelping, made up my mind, and then screamed, "Take it!" I dropped my delicious, cold, mango drink. Then those two monkeys started to run around my feet which then yes freaked me out again. CJ, another volunteer, ran to my rescue and recovered my mango drink somehow. I then looked up to see my whole group laughing. They all patted me on the back and said, "That would only happen to you." Yes. Only me. Here are some more fun pictures from our little outing.

Today was Sports Day which only happens once a year. It's a HUGE deal here in Tamil Nadu. Every school has one. The parents of the children come to watch their kids compete in marching, racing, and more. All the kids divide up into four houses: sapphire, emerald, topaz, and ruby. They all compete for a trophy. You know you're a geek when this is being described to you and you instantly relate it to Harry Potter. To start the ceremony, the different houses march around the track. The PT teacher (PE teacher but with a T. I'm unsure of the reason for the T over the E) takes great pride in our kids marching skills. He says that no other school can march like our kids.

Four boys then participate in a torch ceremony, where they run around the track passing off the torch. There are all kind of races. My favorite though is the balloon race. The younger boys have to blow up balloons until they pop. Once the balloon pops, they can race around the track. It was so cute watching the balloons slowly inflate, pop, and watching them smile as they bolted from the starting line.

Another favorite was when the kids showed all of their yoga skills. I personally loved this part because I learned all of these different yoga poses when I danced.

I had some experience in another sporting event as well, the pyramids. They stacked themselves on top of each other, kind of like how I used to when I cheered in high school.

After all the events, it was fun to see the kids so excited to eat lunch with their parents. The parents are so proud of their kids that you can see it radiate from their eyes and smiles. The parents bring beautiful flowers to put in their daughters hair.

Tonight was movie night and we watched Narnia with the kids. I had six little ones huddle around me. Near the end they were all fast asleep around me. That's one thing I love about little children is that they cuddle with you and they fit into your arms perfectly. I love holding children. I can't wait to hold my own.

Poverty

2011-02-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

Do faces ever stay with you? When you close your eyes, do you see them? The first time I was here, these people's faces were engraved into my memory. When I wanted to remember India, I would close my eyes and there they were. Now it's deja vu because every colony I go to, I remember some of these faces. I went to the Bahalapuram colony today, also known as the art colony. I stepped off the bus and was greeted by a woman. She held my hands and I wrapped my arms around her. I just sat there while she played with my hands and looked back at me to smile. After we had set everything up, we had to wait a few minutes before we got started. I decided to take a moment and walk down the street to see the community center we had been working on this summer. I passed people painting, a man reading a newspaper, a goat eating trash when I came to where we built the community center. I honestly didn't realize that the grey building in the back was the center.

I couldn't believe it was already nearly done. I sat there in amazement remembering every drop of sweat we had put into that orange dirt. I remember Amy Antonelli telling us that our sweat was literally in the foundation. For the foundation was all we were able to get done. We leveled out massive piles of dirt, carried bricks, and stacked them to make a wall that reached my waist. I had a small flashback moment. The work we had done, the jokes that were laughed at, and the songs that were sung ran through my mind like an old film being projected on a screen.

I began with the usual routine, lining up the patients and taking their blood pressure and pulse. Their arms are sometimes so skinny that I feel like I'll break them by tightening the cuff. I pull up the brightly colored fabric up to their shoulders. I gently pull their hands, hands that have fingers curled tightly to their palms, or hands with no fingers at all through the cuff. I watch a couple women squeal as it tightens fast around their bicep. The line sometimes turns to chaos. I've learned how to say wait in Tamil. I have to reorganize it because some of them think that by simply putting their chart on my table will allow them to butt the whole line. I kept saying line with their chart and walking them back. I noticed one man about four chairs away from listening to what I was saying and then speaking to them. They started to get in line. Then one woman had a complaint. As I tried to understand her body language I heard that same man pipe up again in the line, but my ears perked because I could understand what he was saying; he was speaking English. He helped me maintain the chaos (small note: we had around 68 patients today) and when he came to sit next to me, he saw my pen with a huge fake flower attached to the end of it. He laughed as he said, "I have seen a fountain pen, I have seen a ball point pen, but this is the first time I have seen a flower pen." I then proceeded to tell him that he spoke English very well. I asked him how he learned English. He told me he studied English at a University. I asked him what kind of job he had afterward. He told me he couldn't get a job because he immediately contracted leprosy and they kicked him out. He had to move to the colony. This broke my heart. Here is a well educated man who graduated from a university only to become an outcast because of a disease that he now in complete remission for. He does not look like he has leprosy, yet he is thrown out. He told me God would bless us for our service to them. We became good friends though and he smiled when I told him it was nice to be able to talk to someone in English. He is the man at the table that I'm talking to in the picture.

A woman whose feet I washed last time I was in India, sat in front of me as I washed her feet once again. As I was pouring water into the plastic container, she grabbed my face with her small hands and kissed my cheek. She held my face next to hers while brushing the back of her hand over my cheeks and hugging me. As I washed her feet, she held my head and blessed me over and over. She would cross my forehead; she would hold my head, kiss her hands, and then look upward; she kept pointing her hands up while saying Jesus, point to herself, and then to me. After I was done, she grabbed my hands looked straight at me and said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

A woman came crawling to the nurse Navamani. She smelled strongly of urine and laid on the floor right next to me. Flies swarmed her body as she fell asleep waiting for the nurse. Once she had her bandages changed she dragged herself back to the road where she fell asleep next to our van. I wish I could bathe her and wash her clothes to maybe improve her condition just a little.

I started to unwrap one man's bandages and I could instantly tell his sores were going to be massive. Blood and puss had seeped through his gauze. I slowly unwrapped gently pulling the gauze that had dried to his sore. As I unwrapped, it slowly became worst and worst. The sores consumed both sides of his ankle and most of his foot.

I gently cleaned out the sores. My wash pad slowly turned from white to red and yellow from the blood and puss that seeped from his feet. Flies were a constant annoyance. They kept trying to swarm to his sores.

I smiled at him and said I was sorry about his feet. He smiled back. I asked him his name and he told me he was the barber. I immediately exclaimed, "Oh! You're THE barber!" Everyone turned to look at us as I told him I have heard all about him. He used the micro loan system used by Rising Star to open his own barbershop. He's still running it and it's very successful! He offered to show me his shop so after he was all bandaged. I walked down the road with him to a small, one room building. He opened the door and was beaming as he showed me his shop. He had me write my name down in a notebook and take a picture of the two of us. I told him I had to leave and he grabbed my hands and kissed them. He waved to me as I left.

As we packed up the van, we had older men from the colony help us load up. They were so sweet. They would smile as the would pick up tubs of medicine from my hands. An older couple, here is a picture of the older couple,

asked if I would like to stay and have lunch. I wish I could have stayed so badly but everyone was waiting for me in the van. I had Vel tell them why I couldn't stay, said nandri (which means thank you) and waved goodbye.

The leprosy afflicted are forgotten in their corner of the world; they are rejected by their society; and unloved by those they deserved to be loved by. Mother Teresa said,

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. "

The neglect they experience shows in their feet, it shows in their sores. The neglect they experience shows when I wash their feet and they tell me that God sent me here to help them. The neglect they experience shows when they hold my hands and smile while I wrap my arms around them. Everyone is entitled to love. I love what Mother Teresa said. Poverty is not just having nothing to eat. Being neglected is poverty. No one should be left behind. No one should be forgotten.

Indian Princess for a Day

2011-01-31T23:02:00.000-08:00

David Archuleta has been volunteering with Rising Star since Friday. He was nice enough to agree to perform with some of the Children, Shaun Perry, and Stacey Tookey (a judge and choreographer from "So You Think You Can Dance") at the Marriott Saturday night. In order to arrive in time and get all settled, we had to leave campus around three to trek out to Chennai. Since this little shin dig was supposedly with "Chennai's Elite", I wore a beautiful sari. I walked over to Kala's house and had her put it on for me. I had little girls and house mothers around me as she wrapped me in the beautiful orange fabric. I felt like such a princess as they all oohed and ahhhhed telling me how beautiful I looked. As I was walking to the bus, the boys I've been helping looked at me and said, "Auntie, your face has changed." It made me laugh. I guess some mascara, a sari, and a bindi does wonders. We loaded into the cars and were off. I went in a car with Sarah Hendershot, her kids, and Chris. We had to stop at an Indian Mall to pick up some scarves for the gift bags at a fundraiser in the states. While Sarah shopped for the scarves, I went with Chris, Olivia, and Boston upstairs to a juice shop. I ordered a jughead, which is the best drink in the world. I don't know what fruit and ice cream is in it, but this smoothie or shake is unlike anything in the states. I ran next door to a Subway (Yes, I just said Subway. Can you believe it??) and got a turkey sandwich. I literally inhaled that sandwich. We then had to rush out of Spencers to make it to the Marriott to watch David and the kids. When we got to the Marriott, I ran upstairs to see the kids eating dinner in the cafeteria.

They were so excited. I loved seeing them walk around the Marriott big eyed. I loved seeing the girls preparing themselves in the bathroom. I loved seeing them look at all the people walking in to see them perform.

I then went into the club room where they were having the performance. I felt like I was at some major event. The Indian paparazzi took some pictures of me as I went to my seat no big deal and waiters brought around drinks. The best part of the night though, was the presentation about Rising Star and the kids performing. They showed a video on Rising Star. It interviewed one of my favorite boy's, Krishnamoorti's, father. After his father said that the micro loan provided the money to raise his children properly, it showed Krishnamoorti smiling, waving at the school. This made my eyes well with tears to see how Rising Star is completely changing their lives for the better.

Krishnamoorti is the boy in the middle.

The kids danced to David singing "Somebody Out There"

with Stacy Tookey

and Shaun Perry. At one point of the dance, they were supposed to think of someone they know that has suffered and dance their life. Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw them struggle on the ground and I almost lost it when I saw a couple reach out to the audience showing them a beggars life. This was the most moving performance I have ever seen in my whole life.

After the performance there was a buffet. I may or may not have gone back five times... Give me a break. I haven't had any American food for a month now. The mango mousse was to die for. Here's my Statue of Liberty dedicated to food instead of the United States.

Here are some other pictures from the night. The first picture is of me and the Hendershot girls I teach. They are the sweetest girls in the whole entire world. The next picture is of me and Chris. She's another long term volunteer and she's the best.

On the bus ride home, I sat by Stacy Tookey and she showed me all of her pictures from when she was nominated for a Grammy. She showed me her dress and shoes. I loved it. She's so much fun and an amazing dancer. We all tried to fall asleep on the bus ride back and it was an ultimate fail. The roads are so bumpy. We all looked like rag dolls flopping all over the place. I'm pretty sure I nailed my head on the seat in front of me at least four times. Saturday night was amazing. I can't believe I had that opportunity.

Ungapairina

2011-01-31T20:57:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, I went to another leprosy colony called Bethel Nagar. This colony is quite large and we usually have about 50-80 patients. On Friday, I tested for hypertension and measured their glucose. My communicating ability has improved. The charts sometimes have multiple names on them. I now can ask them their name and find out either that they are indeed the person on the chart; it is different than the name on the chart; or that they're the wife or sister of the person on the chart. At first this was extremely complicated but after practicing some Tamil and finding out other means to communicate, I'm finally getting the system down. I love being able to speak a little Tamil. I love hearing them "oooh" when I say something in their language. I now have a deeper bond because I'm beginning to understand simple things about their lives and I love it. After I was done testing each patient, I sat down with some women. I put my arm around one of the woman and she put her arm around me. I just sat there soaking in her love and attention. The first time I came to India, I thought I was going to be the one to show and give love and compassion to these people who really needed it. What I came to find was that they offer me so much more. I never have felt more loved than I do when I'm here in the presence of these people. I go to try and change their lives, but they end up changing mine more than I ever could theirs.

This woman has the same name as my mother's! When I told her that they had the same name, she got very excited and began to tell everyone around her. I feel closer to someone when I can relate to them about family.

This is a man's prosthetic leg.

Vannakam means hello in Tamil. This is what you do as you say Vannakam.

This is a wheelchair in the colony.

This is a man's bike that he reassembled so that way he could pedal with his hands instead of his feet.

I love this woman's glasses. It's even cuter when she smiles, but since no one here in India smiles for pictures, I couldn't get her to smile for a picture.

Sally Read told us a story of a woman who didn't really take care of herself. Her clothes were filthy; she hadn't really eaten in awhile; she lived alone; her hair looked as if she hadn't watched it in months. Sally went and offered to wash her clothes. She said, "No, no, no." Then Sally asked if she could wash her hair. The interpreter told her that she said, "No, no, no. She wouldn't want to touch me. I have a horrible disease. She wouldn't want to touch me." Sally then went and touched her arm and her face and told her that she would love to touch her. It pains me to hear these stories. These people have been left in the forgotten corners of the world while people pass them without a care. I remember last time I was here, I was washing a woman's feet. She held my face, smiled at me, and kissed my forehead. She blessed me by touching my head and then kissing her hands. I remember going to a colony that Rising Star hadn't been to yet. These people had not been taking care of their feet and sores consumed what was left of their feet.

I remember Dr. Kumar telling me that these people told him we must have been sent from God if we were here to help them. I always have a prayer in my heart. Throughout the day, even when I am in the States, I ask the Lord to give me the opportunities to serve; I ask him show me people that I can help, serve, and love. I know he hears these prayers I am constantly saying in my heart. I know he knows my hearts desires. He's manifested it to me by giving me this opportunity to return to Rising Star and serve the people I love so dearly. For which, I am eternally grateful.

Super Monkey Drawing and Science Projects

2011-01-27T10:00:00.000-08:00

My day was kicked off by helping in the writing class. The children were writing about "The biggest thing they ever saw." After they wrote their little entry, they could draw pictures above their writing. Some wanted to draw a picture of a monkey. I went up to the front of the classroom, grabbed a piece of purple chalk, and drew a monkey. I took a step back and thought to myself, "Wow, that's one lame monkey." Afterward a little girl came up to me, gave me a hug, and told me, "Super drawing Auntie! Super drawing!" It made my whole entire day that someone appreciated my sorry excuse for a monkey.

As I was checking out books in the library, the younger Hendershot boy, Oaks, had a group of Indian kids huddled around him looking at his toy sword. One thing you should know about Oaks is that he has the best ninja moves. Seriously. It's the most entertaining thing to watch as he twirls, kicks, jumps, and punches. He reminds me of my little brother Ben when he was little. Well while these kids were circled around Oaks, he whipped out a ninja move that was very exquisite and they scattered so fast. It was hilarious. A few minutes later I saw him riding a bike, sword in hand, with a group of Indian children running after him. I was laughing so hard.

After dinner, I had four boys sitting at the door waiting for me to help them with their science experiments. One of them forgot their paper that we needed so as he biked back to the children's hostel to grab it, Deepenraj taught me the dances he had been learning from Shaun. He also taught me how to march. The kids here at Rising Star learn how to march in their version of a P.E. class. It is so cute to watch them march in complete unison. I had so much fun with Deepenraj performing for Chris and Shankaar. We were laughing and having such a good time.

We then went into the kitchen and worked on their science projects. Rajeesh showed me his battery powered fan. It was really fun seeing how excited they were about their experiments. At one point, the power went out and they started to sing in Tamil. A couple of the boys made a beat with the chairs. I started laughing because it really was just awesome. I created a periscope for one of the boys. I made it with two milk cartons, two mirrors, and some duct tape. When it was finally finished, they looked threw and oohed with excitement. I loved being able to spend the time with them and get to know each of them even better.

Since I have no pictures from today, here are a couple cute pictures of some of the kids

Aren't they the most adorable kids in the whole world? Ah I just love them so much! These children bring so much light and hope into this world.

Republic Day

2011-01-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

Today was India's Republic Day. On this day, India celebrates the creation of the Indian constitution. At nine, we all went to their flag ceremony. My favorite was watching Celina welcome them.

"Good morning children."

and they all simultaneously said back, "Good morning Mam."

"Happy republic day children."

and they all once again simultaneously said, "Thank you Mam."

We watched them each give a little speech. One girl memorized her entire speech. I was so impressed because I think the last time I was asked to memorize a speech was my sophomore year in high school. Later that day, I went on a bike ride with Boston and Olivia to the junction. It was about a six mile bike ride there and back. The bike ride was so much fun. I biked through villages, cricket games, rice fields, and coconut trees. The sun wasn't blaring and the breeze grazed my skin. We moved over for huge trucks and little scooters. I greeted people with vanakkam and I loved seeing them smile while they returned the greeting. As we were passing a cricket game, one guy yelled, "Hey! I love you!" Olivia giggled and asked if I had just heard what he said. We stopped by the ice cream shop and now I just feel like a regular. I feel like I completely belong. The ice cream store owner was asking our names and where we were from. We then headed back home. I really loved spending that time with Olivia and Boston because they've become my little buddies over here. I wish I could record the scenery we biked through. It's gorgeous. I'm always in complete awe with my surroundings. I know I constantly say this, but I'm in the most beautiful place in the world. I could live here forever.

When I got back, I saw Teresa Claugus. She was in my session this last summer and I had such a fun time with her. I've been so excited for her to come back. It was so much fun seeing her and catching up. I also saw Dr. Kumar who was the doctor but had to leave Rising Star due to an amazing opportunity to become a surgeon. He remembered my name! He said, "Audrey! So nice to see you! How have you been?" It pretty much made my day that someone remembered me. Today was full of fun reunions. I'm so blessed to have such amazing people in my life.

Today I also read kids their sponsor emails and passed out letters. My favorite one was M. Vignesh. His sponsor sent him a huge tin can full of chocolates. M. Vignesh's eyes went HUGE and his smile reached from ear to ear as he said, "Auntie, is that for me?!" When I gave them to him, he scampered along showing people along the way what his "ponsor" sent him. It was adorable. We also had a star store day where children earn stars for good behavior and spend them on bangles, notebooks, markers, nighties, clothes etc at this store we create for them. I loved seeing them hop in with huge smiles on their faces to see what they could buy. They LOVE the star store.

A couple days ago, I went to the colony Chetti Punniyam.

As I pulled up, I remember what had happened the summer before. This was the colony of two kids that I have really come to know and love, Basha and Mariyambee.

This is Mariyambee. She's the biggest sweetheart you will ever meet. I love her so much.

On one of our rotations last summer, my group went to Chetti Punniyam with Amy Antonelli. Two kids had not returned back to school because the mother was basically guilt tripping them into staying with her. She would tell Basha, her son, over and over that she needed him to stay home and beg; that she couldn't live without him; that if he loved her, he would not leave her and go to school. I have never seen a child look so depressed; I've never seen a child look like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders. Basha has serious problems because of what his mother has put him through. She comes every couple of months claiming that he no longer needs to go to school and that she's come to take him so he can take care of her. The staff always convinces her to let him stay at school. Every time she comes though, he's crying because he can't leave with her and who wouldn't if they felt like their mother absolutely needed them to survive? My eyes well with tears every time I think about his life and everything he's had to endure. I regretfully admit that I start to think pessimistically and I begin to question how it's fair for such a young child to battle the world when life is so easy for the majority of us in the states. I don't understand how it's fair for him to feel like he needs to take care of his mother when he is so young; I don't understand why it's necessary for him to go through so much. Many children here have suffered through life in ways that we cannot even in a million years begin to imagine. One child's father was executed the other week for murder. One girl named Gracie actually has leprosy right now and is being treated. It crushes me to think that she has this disease at such a young age. When Jennifer was an infant, she contracted leprosy. Her mother tried to throw her away daily. Her grandmother would have to continually take her out of the trash. Then the mother poisoned her bottle and tried to feed her. The grandmother realized what was going on, took away Jennifer, and helped her receive the treatment. These children are raised around people who suffer daily. They are exposed to all the harsh elements of the world at such a young age. The amazing thing though is that Rising Star gives them hope and opportunities. They have aspirations and are determined to make a difference. They are rising above their trials and I know they will make a difference in this world. I love Basha, Mariyambee, and all of these kids with all of my heart. Everyday I'm here, I'm going to give Basha all of my heart and give him the affection and care he needs. Every time I see him, I call out his name and just sit there and hug him. He soaks in every second. Today I was riding a bike and on the back there is a place where you can strap down a bag. The children usually sit on the back and give each other rides. I rode around on one of the bikes with Basha on the back for awhile. I remember hearing him yell, "faster Auntie!" As I looked back and saw the breeze brush back his hair and a huge smile on his face, I hoped that maybe I had lifted some of the world off of his shoulders for just a moment.

Stay on the Lighted Path

2011-01-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight was a special night because it was Saturday and Saturday nights mean movie nights with the kids! I sat down with the younger ones huddled around me and watched the Disney logo play across the screen. We watched Wall-e tonight and the kids just soaked it up. There were parts where they were laughing so hard that it made me start laughing. I loved looking at all of their faces completely entranced and focused on that little robots adventure. Near the end of the movie, five of the younger boys (Christraj, Anandavel, Karthik, Aravind, and one boy I haven't met yet) fell asleep on my lap. I loved how close they cuddled up to me and I loved their sweet sleeping faces. I stroked each of their hair and was very careful not to move so I would not wake them up. The movie ended and all of the kids left except for the boys sleeping around me. I had to slowly nudge them each awake, but one would not wake up, Anandavel. I watched the house mother try to pull him up but when his legs turned to noodles, I offered to help and carried him back to his room. He wrapped his arms and legs around me and nuzzled his head onto my shoulder. Life could not have been more perfect at that moment. I laid him down on the mat and kissed his cheek goodnight. I then proceeded to tell all of the sweet boys goodnight and that I loved them.

The road to my room is somewhat of a walk because I have to walk from one end of campus to the other end. I was alone and was on my way back to the hostel, when the power went out and darkness consumed my vision. Just take a moment and imagine being on a lighted pathway that is keeping you safe from snakes called the two step snake (It's called the two step snake because if it bites you, the venom is so deadly that you'll only be able to take two steps before you die) and scorpions; a pathway that shows you were to go when everything else is enveloped in a thick darkness. Now imagine the only lights turning off and being alone in that darkness. I stopped for a moment and debated on whether or not to turn back for the kids hostel or stand still until the lights turned back on. About ten seconds later, which seemed like an eternity, the lights turned back on and I continued on my way. As I was walking, I started thinking about this lighted path and how it keeps me safe from what the darkness hides. I then thought of another lighted path in my life, the gospel. In a world that is dark and twisted, I have a light that protects me from all that tries to hurt me. I then proceeded to think that when I'm walking back to my room, I want to be in the middle of that lighted path. I don't want to be on the edge with one foot in the light and the other in the dark. Throughout my life, I have learned that I cannot be on the edge. I cannot be safe while having one foot on the lighted path and one in the dark. Would I want to risk my physical well being by going off the lighted path? No. Then why should this not apply to my spiritual well being? I say this with all my heart that it is not worth it to have one foot in the dark. Be fully in the light. One message from General Conference in October came to my mind as I thought about this.

Don't be selectively obedient.

To be truly safe, in the light, we must follow the commandments with exactness. In my life, I've personally witnessed that the moments in my life where I am following the Lord in exactness, I'm happier. Yes, people are happy out there without the gospel and without the guidelines it provides for us. In my opinion, there are different degrees of happiness. The joy I feel when I follow the Savior with exactness cannot be expressed with words. I know without a doubt in my mind that I can only feel this happiness when I am doing everything to follow my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

A Day in the Bay of Bengal

2011-01-22T08:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, the Hendershots and I went to Mahamalapuram and went to the beach! The Hendershots are the best family. I'm having so much fun with them. They have the cutest, nicest kids and they have been so nice to me. Going to the beach was the most relaxing day ever. We swam in the pool, ate cheese nan, and sipped on some sprite while laying in the sun. Steele, Cole, and Oaks (the Dad and his two sons) found a dead sting ray coming in with the waves. We watched it slowly come in, hoping it would land on the beach. Eventually, I took matters into my own hands. I went out into about waist deep water with Oaks and after a couple tries managed to grab it. As I was trying to grab it once, a wave crashed onto it sending it flopping around my feet. Since I couldn't see it in the water, I started doing high knees until I figured out where it was. This sting ray was so slick that every time the ocean drew back, I was squealing trying to fight the ocean for the carcass. I was victorious and pulled it up onto the beach for everyone to see.

It's eyes were falling out but they looked like someone just glued them on.

This is a town where there are a lot of fishermen. These are all the fishing boats lining the shore behind me, Belle, and Oaks.

The stingray was one of the many highlights of the trip. I also went and bought real pearl necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. The necklaces cost five American dollars and I got them in pink, white, and black. I also had some Indian clothes made for me. Which was one thing I really regretted not bringing home with me last time I was here. After soaking up the sun and swimming, we returned home to fresh chipotes, which is like a wheat tortilla, with sauce and some delicious papaya.

2011-01-20T09:22:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up to 'Diamonds on the Inside' by Ben Harper at 5:40 in the morning. I had to be out of the Hostel by six in the morning because Chris, Selina, Shaun and I were going to the bird sanctuary.

By the time we got there, the sun was slowly rising. The deep orange sun filled the sky with a warm glow.

Watching the sun rise and set here in India is one thing that makes me feel at peace. At those moments, I look out over the tops of coconut trees and mango groves, and can finally breathe. Every concern or worry I have leaves my body. The rays of light warm my skin. I close my eyes and think of absolutely nothing except for the fact that I am here in my most favorite place in the world. I remember how blessed I am and recall people, places, and moments I'm grateful for. Then I open my eyes, rest my chin on my arms, and soak in every second because I know the time I have here will be gone in a blink of an eye.

With all the constant activity of the thousands and thousands of pelicans, storks, and other birds, it was still peaceful. It was amazing to see all of these beautiful birds. The pictures don't do any justice.

This is me and Mani, one of our drivers. He's one of the nicest men I've ever met. He picked me up from the airport when I first got here. As we left, I decide to give my salute to the birds. I had a couple of people laughing at me as I posed.

We then headed back to campus for a very busy day. I helped organize the star store. The children receive stars for good behavior in school and with their hostel family. They can save up these stars and go to the star store and buy jewelry, notepads, journals, crayons, markers, pens, clips, clothes, jump ropes etc. I've had a couple girls come up to me and ask me to sell a movie night with me in the hostel. I'm going to have kids who want to spend 30 stars come watch a movie in the mango room with me. I'm going to bring popcorn, drinks, and treats. I can't wait because it'll be fun to be able to throw them a special night. I really love these kids so much. I already tear up thinking about leaving them and I still have three months left. I don't know what I'm going to do when I actually have to leave.

I headed over to the library to check out books for the kids. Is it weird that every time I'm in there that Marianne Madame Librarian song from 'Music Man' plays in my head? I love spending that extra time with the kids. I have a few regulars. Bala Kumar is very smart and responsible. He comes in everyday for a new book. Gopinath always forgets his books and can't check out a new one so he just sits with me and plays with the mouse to the computer. Little Dilip comes and checks out his Clifford books. Maryiambe puts her arms around me and rests her head on my shoulders which is my favorite because she's so sweet. I love her so much. I love watching the little kids skip in with their backpacks consuming them and then bouncing out. After the library, I cleaned up my room and confined my things to one shelf so it'll be all set for my roommates coming next week. Then I got ready to leave on a little excursion to run errands and eat some parrota. Chris, Shaun, Olivia, Cole, and I went to Uthirmeur (unsure of the spelling) and got the best parrota. Parrota is a really thin, greasy yet crispy sort of bread that you dip in sauce. They come in a stack sort of. I had two servings. Best part is that I had two for 30 rupees which is like 60 cents in America.

I then shopped for bangles, bindis, and nighties for the star store. I had two bags full of goodies for about six American dollars. A set of bangles here are ten cents in American currency. I went bangle crazy. I then ran and bought a huge two liter bottle of soda so I could help Joseph with his science project. He's the most responsible seventh grade kid I know. I helped him finish his scientist report the day it was assigned, it wasn't due till the 29th. Then we figured out that for his science experiment we were going to erupt a volcano using a soda bottle. Today he reminded me to get him the supplies. It's still not due till the 29th. That really impressed me. He's got this whole school thing figured out and he's such a sweetheart. After all the errand shopping, I collapsed onto my bed. The best days are when you're always on your feet. Those are the moments when I think I've made maybe some sort of little difference.

Ponsor

2011-01-18T08:44:00.000-08:00

Today I walked out of my room into the sun. Instead of silence, I heard laughter. What warmed my heart wasn't the blaring Indian sun, but the presence of the kids back in school; the fact that I hear their sweet voices; and that I can hold their hands while seeing them smile. After helping the Hendershot children with school, I met with Daffy, the social worker here at Rising Star. I took her the many sponsor letters I had received in the states to take to the kids. My new responsibility will be helping the kids reply to the endless heap of letters and emails. As I walked down the path to go to the kid's hostel, Aravind saw me and smiled while grabbing my hand. Then Christraj hugged my leg and held onto my other hand. Then Vinarasan grabbed my arm. Before I knew it I had two children on each hand holding two fingers each, a kid on each arm, and a little circle followed me to the hostel. Once I sat down I pulled out the sponsor letters and before I knew it, the kids swarmed to me and Daffy. "Auntie, Auntie my ponsor? my ponsor?" Ponsor means sponsor. These kids get so excited to hear from their "ponsors". I wish you all could see the huge smiles and how they jump up and down once they hear they got a letter. They ripped open those envelopes so fast and then had either me or Daffy read it to them if they couldn't on their own. I really wish everyone could see how excited they are and the smiles on their face as we read the letters to them. If you are interested in sponsoring a child, please let me know and I'll give you the details. We still have kids that don't have sponsors. My family sponsors Anandavel and each member of my family sent him a letter and we also sent him two books, 'Where the Wild Things Are' and 'Flat Stanley'. He had the biggest smile as I showed him his stack. I read the letters to him which he looked at eagerly and when I pulled out our Christmas card, another swarm of kids rushed in. I showed them who I was on the card and they kept exclaiming, "Oh Auntie dis is you! Look! It is her!" As I was saying my family's names trying to teach them to Anandavel, each child repeated them as well. It was so cute to hear them all chime in, "Chandra, Errrric, Kyle, Beeeen, Emilyyyy." I wish I could have recorded a video of them repeating the names. This video is when they all left except for a couple of kids. Anandavel is a little shy so his voice is soft but it's so adorable! I wanted to have a video of him saying the names so I could send it back to my family to let them see what an adorable kid we're sponsoring. The kids were verrrry eager to make sure the camera saw the picture on the card. They also wanted to see the video after which is why they asked, "Dis is video??" I loved being able to show the kids my family and it was fun to see how excited they all were to see my family. Afterward, a group of kids huddled around me on the steps as I read the new books to them.

An Auntie Once Again

2011-01-16T10:04:00.000-08:00

I love kids. I love their innocence, their sincerity, their capability to love, their smiles, their laughter, and their voices. Ever since I was little, I've always anticipated the day I can finally become a Mom, but I always have wanted right then, there, and now to be an aunt. I am an aunt; a fake aunt to be exact; a wannabe aunt. I'm the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family with my closest cousin at age 14. All of the other cousins are babys, toddlers, and young children. I'm so much older than all of them, that I sometimes catch my aunts calling me Aunt Audrey. For once though, I'm a real aunt. I'm an aunt to the Rising Star children. Today most of them came back to Rising Star campus. Once I heard them yell, "Auntie, Auntie," a smile reached from ear to ear as I hugged the little ones I love so dearly. I was so excited to see the kids. At first they were all shell shocked from coming back and having to leave their parents. The little ones were crying and crying. I went up to a room and heard Aravind just bawling. I sat him down in my lap, played with his hair, and wiped away his tears. Once he wasn't hyperventilating, I pulled out his doodle board and held his hand as we drew hearts, coconut trees, smiley faces, and swirls. Then he decided to play with legos and once I started getting excited about his boat and car he made, a smile finally shined through. After he played for awhile, he took my hand and I went to wash his hair with lice shampoo. This time we only had the best Indian lice shampoo because we ran out of the American lice shampoo, Lice MD, someone donated. I looked at the bottle and read the instructions that stated it only stunned the lice and that we had to pick the lice out within 30 minutes. It also said we need to do this once a week for four weeks for a complete treatment. Let's just say this shampoo will not even put a dent into killing any lice here. If anyone wants to donate some Lice MD, please let me know and I'll try to figure out a way to make it work. I then showed the kids the brand new swing set. I sat there pushing four swings for a good twenty minutes, constantly running back and forth. I think I'm going to teach them how to pump.

We then walked through the village to see all the decorated cows. We tried sugar cane, looked at all the intricate painted designs on the ground, and the new, brightly painted houses.

This straw stuffed man hanging from a post is not what it seems. Yes. I know. It could be potentially creepy. I swear it has a meaning though. When new buildings are in construction, they hang these to ward off evil spirits.

HOLY COW!

(If you don't understand the humor behind this phrase... sorry. Better luck next time)

Okay, okay, okay, I'll let you in on the joke. Cows are worshiped here in India. They don't eat them and consider them holy. I consider it ironic that people are starving in this country yet have all these cows just laying around. I do love a nicely colored cow horn though.

Just for a good little laugh, it's 75 maybe 70 degrees at the coldest. Yes. She is wearing a full on beanie. Yes. She is cold. It really makes me laugh because for me this is the best weather.

We returned back to the school and I walked back with kids to the playground. I sat there holding my favorite little boys, kissing their cheeks, and watching them run around. Christraj had me go everywhere on the playground with him. "Auntie! Slide? Auntie! Come look! Auntie! See the swings!"

I just love them so much and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to spend three and a half months with all of these adorable children.

Chicks and Coconuts

2011-01-15T10:37:00.000-08:00

Today we went to Raja Kumari's (one of our house mothers) village for Pongo, the Indian national holiday that has been going on for the past week. A house mother is a woman who takes care of the children while they are here on campus for school. She invited us over for lunch and to celebrate with her and her family. They said they were going to send over a driver to pick us up at 12:30. Slowly 1:30 rolled around, and then 2:00. By that time the girls and I were hungry. We strolled to the dining hall to grab some Indian lunch. Kala cooked lunch today. Kala was the house mother I helped last summer so I was really excited to see her again. When I walked in, she exclaimed,"Oooh you're back! When did you get here?" I was sooo excited that she remembered who I was. I sat and talked to her about her family and how all of my favorite little boys were doing. I asked about Anandavel, the child my family sponsors, and she talked to another house mother about him who then said he kind of looks like me. I love Anandavel and I get to see him tomorrow! Ah I can't wait to see my boys. After lunch, we found a driver and hopped into one of our older cars that I seriously thought was going to break down on our way. We made it though and they showed us their new house they were building and the thatched roof hut they've been living in. It was very humbling to see how all three of them have been living in one little room.

Here is their stove. She's frying dough for us. It was so good.

Look at their convenient shelving. Why have shelves when you have a roof to hold your items?

Then the kids found the chicks. Yes. Around ten cute little chicks. They petted them; they mauled them; they smothered them; they kissed them; they chased them; they captured them; they'd let them go; they fiddled for a minute and then go recapture them.

But I may have loved them a little as well...

Then we had lunch which was surprisingly so good. I feel like food in India is either a hit or miss and this was a definite hit. My favorite though was this drink. It tasted like warm horchata with noodles in it. I loved it.

Then afterward, they knocked down coconuts from their tree and gave us coconut water. They made us straws out of papaya branch.

This lunch was so much fun. I had the best time talking with everyone and eating some delicious food while learning about village life here in the Kancheepuram district. Life's just one big adventure here. How am I ever going to go back to the States?

Moot

2011-01-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

The last colony I went to before leaving India this summer was the same colony I went to today, the Moot colony. As we pulled up, I saw a woman carrying a large pile of sticks back over to a hut covered with palm leaves; I saw the man with no feet, most of his legs gone, and pads on his hands rolling over on his scooter to greet us. The same emotions flooded my being. First, with excitement. I was excited to see the people I had grown such a deep love and concern for once again. One woman greeted us as soon as we stepped out of the van. Her palms were together and her smile that had been engraved into my mind reached from ear to ear as she said vanakkam.

They grabbed my hands and pulled them to their heart, their cheeks, and kissed my hands tenderly. I hugged them and watched them soak in every touch. Reality then tapped on my heart and remorse dropped my heart into my stomach. Having Soroja complain to me that her hands and knee get sore from crawling along the ground because she only has one leg and one foot,

watching the man pull himself on his scooter to see the doctor,

and a man's hands I held while stretching his fingers that permanently have coiled tightly to his palm with his toes gnarled and twisted falling over the soles of his sandals overwhelms my heart and causes me to question how one can endure so much.

The greatest lesson they teach me is through their example. They, in my opinion, have every right to complain, to curse life, and grieve for their life they lost once leprosy consumed their bodies.

They don't complain though. They are the happiest people I know with absolutely nothing. Olivia and Boston brought the game Jenga and we played with a couple of the women. Soroja who has only one finger on one hand dominated us all. I'd go to try and take a block, and almost make it fall over. She would stop me and then proceed to find one that was easier and take it out for me. I thought I was thorough and searched the whole tower, but she always seemed to find the best ones and would take them out with ease. It was fun to play games and see them laugh as we squealed when the tower fell over.

It astonishes me to look at them with everything they are enduring and think about everything I have complained about in my life. I need to stop saying why me. Why is everything about us? If we weren't so focused on ourselves, we could find more people to serve and love. I often think that when people talk about service, they think it has to be big like going to a third world country or volunteering at a food bank or homeless shelter once a week. These examples are amazing types of service, but I think the one type of service people overlook is simply treating those around us better. I always think to myself what if every person in this world performed one random act of kindness everyday? I know we would become a more selfless, loving, appreciative people. One of my favorite quotes is:

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

-Ghandi

I want to change the world. Many people want to change the world. It can all start with us. We can all change the world by being better people, by treating those around us with kindness, by not giving superficial judgments, and enduring this life together. Let's look for those who are down, extend a hand, and lift them up.

Junction Junction What's Your Function

2011-01-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

The junction is a 15 minute drive from our campus. There they have a stores lining the roads that carry bangles, nighties, some toys, candy, produce, ice cream and so on. I went shopping there with Olivia, Boston, and Vel, one of our drivers. He's the best and came to make sure we were getting everything for a good price. We went stocked up on some candy for a mere 18 rupees. 50 rupees is one American dollar. The store pointed to Olivia and Boston and said they were their best customers. They giggled and nodded in agreement while leaning over to me to confirm that they are here all the time buying candy. Olivia bought nighties and bangles to bring back to the states to start her own little Indian boutique. I enjoyed a nice vanilla ice cream cone while watching buses, motorcycles, bikes, and people pass. This sums up the junction in a couple of pictures.

In this part of India, most don't see Americans often. I feel like some major celebrity because people come to shake your hand or when you wave and say hi they get so excited. The kids in the picture above came up to me. I felt like I was in Finding Nemo. You know the part where Nemo goes to school and they're on the reef and they see "the butt" aka boat? They have a little game where they see who can get closest to the "butt". That's how I felt. The kids were the cute little school fish and I was the "butt". They were giggling and seeing who could get the closest to me. One girl extended her hand to me, her palm covered in intricate henna designs, and the moment we shook hands, the rest of the kids had the face of the fish that said, "He just touched the butt!" Then they all shook hands with me each giggling and seeming almost nervous. Which made me laugh because why would anyone be nervous to shake my hand?

It's been so much fun this time in India because there's not an overload of volunteers so I'm beginning to really get to know everyone. I sat and talked with the drivers Vel and Shankar. When Vel first met me and asked what my name was, he asked what my short name was. When I told him I didn't have a short name he then decided he'd call me Dree. He calls me either Audidree or dree. It makes me laugh and I love it. They asked me more about my life today on the way back from the junction. I told them about my family and when they figured out I had a boyfriend, they became very interested. They asked if he went to school or worked and so on. Then they asked questions along the lines if I'm getting married soon. Vel was looking through the pictures on my camera and saw a picture of my Mom and Dad and asked who they were. When I said that they were my parents, he honestly did not believe me and said, "Just very young?" I laughed very hard because little does he know I get that response even in the states. Vel, when driving me, will put on an American station and every song that comes on he asks me, "You like this song? This song good in U.S?" Of course I reply that I love every song and that it's super even if I don't like it because it makes him feel very appreciated that he found a song I liked. My other new friend is Meera (small note: I spell their names like they sound since I have no idea how to spell them. Except for Vel, because he has his name on a ring that he wears) cleans the volunteer hostel. Occasionally she'll pop her head in to say hello, but I really think she pops her head in to see if I'm talking to anyone on skype. She first came and saw me and my friend Asia talking on skype. She sat and talked to Asia, and told her she had a "super face". She loves talking to my friends on skype. I was talking to Matt, my boyfriend, and she came in and said hello. She told him about her two sons in first standard at the school. She loves skype and I love seeing her getting to know my loved ones over in America.

I'm going to a leprosy colony either Thursday or Friday with Dr. Susan. I can't wait. Going to the leprosy colonies is my favorite part, other than the kids of course. The people in the colonies are so humble, genuine, and I love just sitting with them, holding their hands, talking with them as much as I can. There's just this special spirit there I can't describe that you can't find anywhere else in this world. I was talking to Sarah about another few possibilities of what I could be doing while I'm here. I may be helping the kindergarten teacher come up with fun activities for the kids that follow the curriculum. Then I'll help her put together the activities and then do them with the kids. I'd absolutely love this because this is the class with all of my favorite little ones. I also could be reading in the library to a second grade class. I'd be helping their english by reading a line and having them repeat it back to me. No matter what I do, I'll be happy. I honestly wish I could be here for the rest of my life. There's just a different feeling to life here. It wraps around your heart and soothes the mediocre concerns we often focus on in life and brings out what is important: simplicity, peace, love, and humility.

Count Your Many Blessings Name Them... Church, Nutella, and Suitcase

2011-01-09T07:06:00.000-08:00

What I woke up to....

This is the campus dog Dexter. He walks you home at night to make sure you arrive home safely without getting attacked by cobras, kraits, or scorpions. He however got into all of our trash. Bad dog Dexter.

Living in Utah, I've been spoiled. My church is right down the street from me with no more than a ten minute walk. I now have that privilege stripped from me. Church is in Chennai, which means church is two hours away. I could not wait to go to church though. When I went in Delhi this last summer, I thought it was the coolest experience ever. Same church, same spirit. I find it so amazing that no matter where I am in the world, one thing will always remain constant, God.

After church, we had a few things to do. We had to go try and pick up one of our house mothers. This house mother left her husband awhile ago because her husband was a drunk and basically mistreated her and her sons. The fact that she left her husband says a lot. They don't just do that over here in India. That husband just barely died in a car accident. She had to go back to his family and mourn. In India, they literally have to mourn for three months. The family locks up the wife for three months. She cannot do anything with finances, she has bangles all the way up to her elbows that they'll break off at the end of mourning, and so on. Since she was in this mourning period, she could not come back to Rising Star and we needed her since she is crucial. A house mother takes care of the children while they live on campus. The kids come back soon and we need her to be back so she can take care of them. Steele and Celina went to go talk to the family to try and persuade them to let her leave. While they were persuading, I went with the kids and the driver to pick up Dr. Susan and Dr. Balu for a meeting with Padma, the daughter of a former Indian President who works with Rising Star. As we drove I talked to both of the Indian doctors. Olivia pointed out cotton candy which led to Dr. Susan saying cotton candy in Tamil. I repeated it and her, the driver, and Dr. Balu all awed. Dr. Susan told me I did not sound like an American speaking Tamil, but that I sounded like an Indian speaking Tamil. She told me I got the accent down perfectly. She told me I may have a gift for Tamil. Maybe I should attempt learning while I'm here? I was pretty excited.

We dropped off the doctors at Padma's and then I went grocery shopping at a place called Five Star. Guess what? It carries some American food. Which means... drum roll please... I now have Nutella! If you know me, you'll know how big of a deal this is considering I was lamenting about the fact that my bag was too heavy and that I had to leave it behind in the states. After shopping, we went back to Padma's house. Padma's house is gorgeous. It's huge and beautifully designed with the most beautiful gardens. Padma is the nicest woman in the world. She had us come in and she fed us the best snacks and served us the best mango and lychee juice. She treated me as if I was her old friend by giving me the biggest hug. I admire her for all she is and has done.

After Padma's, we drove home. I opened my door up and there was my lost suitcase! I got Nutella AND my suitcase today? Honestly, could not have had a better day. When I opened it up there laid my bag of chocolate. The Hendershot family, Celina, and I each had one. I'm going to make it last the whole time I'm here. When I'm in America, I don't really crave sweets. When I'm in India, that's all I crave.

Soon the kids come and I get to go to the colonies! I can't wait to see them all again. These people are the best part of India. I love them so much. I love India. I LOVE India. I wish you all could see what I see. I wish you could all smell, feel, taste, hear what I see. India is the most amazing place in the world. It's really hard for me to think that one day I won't return. I don't think I'll ever be able to part from it. I just want to bring my family back to India and live here forever.

My Life Has Indian Background Music

2011-01-09T06:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the beginning of the Hindu New Year. It lasts for a week. They clean out their houses, paint and decorate, and decorate all the cows. We walked through the village to see the celebrations. They had Indian music blaring through these speakers up in a tree. Yes, they keep it on all day and all night and yes, I can hear it all the way in my room as I try to sleep. It serves as background music to my life here though. I may or may not break out in Indian dance. You've been warned.

This is Belle. The youngest of the Hendershot family. She's two years old and the flowers in her are for the holiday. One of the Indian women put them in her hair. So cute!

This is the road to our campus. Olivia and Boston are hanging on to our car as Vel drove very slow of course.

Cute little girl in the village. She had the prettiest orange flowers in her hair.

This is the Hindu temple in the village. They were performing a ritual for the holiday.

Here am I pulling up some water from a well in (but technically outside in a courtyard) a woman from the village's house. Having a well in your house is a huge deal and a luxury. She was very proud of her well. The room leading to the well, however, was swarming with bats and smelled of guano. I was worried one was going to fly right over my head, because the roof was so low, which would cause me to scream, possibly offending her. No worries, no bat brushed over my head.

Women from the village sewing flowers on a strand for everyone's hair. It's my favorite. They smell so good and look gorgeous in hair. Win win!

I love this picture because it shows how green it is. I love India!

Sign for Rising Star

Cute little stray puppy. Wish they weren't carrying so many diseases or infested with fleas or else I'd take him.

The village people asked us to stay for their ritual so we sat down and waited. It was getting dark and we had to leave. Walking around India at night is not a good idea. You'll never know what sort of snake/insect/stray dog could get to you. We did not want to be rude and just get up and leave so we decided that when the guy in charge of the ritual stopped talking we would get up and leave. Well, he literally did not stop talking. We had us each sneak off in twos. We returned home to chicken tacos! Sarah had bought chicken and made the best tacos. We had tomatoes, homemade sour cream, cucumbers (in place of lettuce) and cheese on corn tortillas they brought from the states. They tasted so good. I felt so spoiled. I then returned to my room and fell asleep before I hit my pillow. Eight at night. Can anyone say loser? No. Wait. Stop. Don't. Everyone say well rested, because that is what I am. Did I say that I love it here? I wish my family and friends came here. I just want to stay here forever.

Indiaaa Round 2

2011-01-07T07:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt like a bug underneath a magnifying glass? With all eyes on you? That is the one way to describe walking out of the Chennai airport in India. Since my bag was lost, I had to wait an extra hour...or two... which meant I was the only American/white person walking out of the airport doors. I walked out and instantly felt every eye on me; I watched them as they pointed their fingers and whispered to each other about me. My palms became moist with anticipation of finding my driver. I looked and looked and looked. No sign. Just people staring. Just when I was starting to get nervous, Mani (the driver) came running up to me with a white piece of paper with my name in big, black, bold letters.

By the time I got to campus, it was 3:00 am. I talked with my loved ones and tried to fall asleep. I miserably failed. By the time I fell asleep, it must have been 4 or 4:30. I then woke up at six; took a nice bucket shower; ate some bread with peanut butter; and headed out the door to see Sarah Hendershot and her daughter Boston running the new track. I went to their house for eggs and toast with jam which was much better than my bread with peanut butter. I'm going to be helping their kids with their school work for a couple hours everyday. My schedule will go something like this:

6:00 am - Run the track (I figured since I'm in India, I might as well exercise. Wish me luck.)
6:30 am - Shower
6:45 am - Talk to loved ones on skype and email
8:30 am - Eat breakfast
9:00 am - 12:00 pm tutor Hendershot kids

Rest of the day I'm free to do what I please! I get to go to the colonies at least once a week. I can't wait! The kids are on holiday still. They get back a week from Wednesday. I spent all day today walking around campus. Soaking in the perfect 75 degree weather. I went on a walk with the Hendershot kids. They showed me their fort made out of huge coconut tree and banana tree leaves. We save a dead krait snake, at least we think it was a krait. A crow had bitten off it's head and torn apart its flesh so it was hard to tell. They call the krait snake the two step snake. Want to know why? If you get bit by a krait snake you only have five seconds to live; you can only walk two steps until you fall over dead. Cobras, kraits, and lobster sized scorpions for roommates? I joked with my Mom that while she was working out at a gym, I'd be hurdling cobras on the track.

At five I went to a teacher's house in Chingleput with Celina (the new principal) to eat dinner with his family. The whole family was there and they were very gracious and excited to have us. They served us "french toast" or as they kept calling it American food. It was more of a warm soggy, milky kind of tasting bread. We looked through their wedding album. The first time they met was when their marriage was arranged. The second time they met was when they were engaged. The third time they met was their marriage ceremony. She had the most beautiful sari and jewelry like you wouldn't believe. I played with the little kids talked to the Uncle about my schooling in the United States, and then we were off back to RSO.

I really cannot wait for the kids to finally get here! One of India's biggest national holidays starts on Saturday. I'm exhausted and have to go to sleep. I love the endless opportunites Rising Star is already bringing me. I'm so blessed to be here in India.

The Opportunity of a Lifetime

2010-12-22T16:51:00.000-08:00

In exactly 13 days, 11 hours, 8 minutes, and 13 seconds, I will be leaving to India once again! I'm going with the same organization I went with last summer, Rising Star Outreach. I will be helping the American family that stays there year round on the same campus I stayed on with the school, boarding house, the mango and coconut groves, and so on. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would get to go back. Nonetheless in less than a year! I am overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude. I'm unbelievably grateful for parents that allow me to pursue my dreams, for letting me leave the security of the United States and live in India for four months. I am unbelievably blessed for the opportunity to pursue my dreams. I am so grateful for my Father in heaven who knows my heart's intentions and gives me the opportunities so I can act on them. Without Him, none of this would be possible.

Words cannot express how excited I am! I cannot tell you how much I am anticipating the moment when I can kiss the cheeks of the kids I love so dearly; the moment when I can hold the leprosy afflicted; the moment I can wash their feet; the moment I can go on the biggest adventure of my life! Becky Douglas, the founder of Rising Star, said, "Once you see, you own the responsibility to do." I remember when I was in India this last summer, it was hard to look around. It was hard to look at the awful circumstances these people are living in. To see is not easy. To do is especially not easy. I hope in my life that I will always feel the responsibility to do. I hope that I will look and not only look, but do, make a difference, and change the world.

It's Hard To Say Goodbye

2010-06-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

Words can not express the emotions I felt and experiences I had today. Through the hustle of getting out the door, the thought that this was my last day pounded in my mind. I do not feel like my time with Rising Star is over. This session has literally gone in a blink of an eye. I feel that I should be here the whole summer. I wish that was the case.

We piled onto the bus to take a two hour drive to the colony Moot. This colony is the most isolated and not self sufficient. No one visits them but Rising Star staff and volunteers. There are about seven people in the colony so it’s more of a family. The memory will forever be burned in my memory of arriving to that colony. We pulled up and they were sitting on the ground waving to us. I got off the bus and the first thing I saw was a man; a man with no feet; a man with no fingers. He sat on a scooter with worn out wheels and a seat cushion for some comfort. He pushed himself with what remained of his hands. I saw him push himself over to us, wipe the dirt off his hands, and greet me with the biggest smile. I sat and held his hands and talked with him for some time. The Hendershot kids brought around oranges for the colony members. I watched him as he struggled eating the orange with no fingers.

I then looked to my left and saw a woman. A woman with a deformed eye and bulging lip; a woman with hands that only had two fingers remaining on one hand; a woman who’s legs where skinnier than my arms and skin that felt like smooth wood.

Despite the multiple afflictions that leprosy has left her with, she is one of the most beautiful women in the world. She has the sweetest spirit. She cares for everyone. Amy told us that even though she doesn’t receive very much food, she always saves some for the birds in her colony. Any scrap that she has she feeds to those birds. One memory that will be forever engraved in my mind was when I held her hands and we started singing “you are my sunshine”. This is completely cheesy but when I sang the line, “you’ll never know dear how much I love you” and I looked into her eyes tearing up with the biggest smile on her face I lost it and started to cry. I had only known her for a few minutes but the love I felt and still feel for her was overwhelming.

We all then started to dance with them. I stayed on the floor with those who could not stand. We moved our arms to the music. I looked into their faces and saw pure joy. I looked into the volunteers faces and saw pure joy. I then started to cry yet again. Instead of me holding the woman, she held my hand and motioned for me not to be sad. The time came for us to leave. We said our goodbyes exchanging kisses and hugs. It felt like I had known these people forever and had been friends with them my whole life.

On our ride back I watched as India passed me through a window. We got back to campus and went to work on writing in each of the kids memory books. I almost broke out into tears multiple times while writing my favorite thing about each of the kids. Whether it be Peter’s infectious little smile; Christraj’s constant smile plastered on his face; the way Anandavel says I love you; the way Kanmani grabs my face and plants a kiss on my cheek; the responsible Krishnamoorthy; Anabarasu’s mask; their faces will forever be engraved into my memory. I am always going to love them with all of my heart.

Foundation for tomorrow. That was our phrase on our section of the wall we were left to paint and leave our mark. We thought it was appropriate since we were the first session. All of our sweat was literally in the foundation of the community center at the colony. We helped the kids build a foundation for their education and we built a foundation for the rest of the summer. We painted the wall laughing together and painting each other’s faces.

Playtime finally rolled around. Anandavell greeted me with a big smile and held my hand as we walked around the playground. I tried to soak everything in. The mango trees, the coconut trees, the sun, and the kids laughing and running. All the younger boys tackled me onto the ground and started to tickle me. I couldn’t run away from them all so I endured heaps of them tickling me to death. I’d grab them, hug them, and tickle torture them right back. After playtime and dinner, I went to tuck the kids in for bed only to find that all but a few were fast asleep. I went around and kissed each one of them telling them I loved them to their sweet, peaceful, sleeping faces. I once again became emotional because I wanted to say goodbye so bad. I wanted to hear their little voices one last time before I left. Sometimes you never know when the last time you’re going to say goodbye is. I sat there on the playground thinking to myself that I still had tonight to say goodbye. I didn’t realize that those were going to be the last times I would get any hugs or kisses from any of them. I hope this goodbye is more of a see you later. I was able to say goodbye to Christraj though. He kept saying you come back Saturday? I would fight the tears and say no not Saturday. You come back Friday? No not Friday. You come back two days? No Christraj. I might come back next summer. When is next summer? Saturday? My heart aches because I miss him so much already.

All of the girls dressed up in beautiful saris for our dinner. The colors were amazing and everyone looked gorgeous. I felt like a princess as Kala wrapped the sari around me. We ate a feast of parota which was one of the best meals I have had. After dinner, we all sat and cried as each person told a story that touched their lives while being here.

Certain memories are burned into our memories. Faces. Moments. I remember one lady was crying as I was washing her feet. I asked Dr. Kumar if I was hurting her. He then replied that she was crying because she was so grateful. She could not believe I was doing this for her. She believed that I must have been sent from God to do this for her. All I was doing was washing her feet. The gratitude and love of these people are amazing. Some leprosy afflicted people think that God gave them leprosy as a punishment and that he hates them. I know it is the complete opposite. These people are the only ones He knew could endure this challenge. He knew I personally couldn’t endure the social stigma, losing my friends and family, losing my physical appearance, losing my hands and feet, living with nothing. I look at them like He looks at them. I often forget that the person I’m talking to has deformities because I can see their true beauty within. I can see them the way God sees them. A genuine, kind, loving, and enduring people. They have nothing, yet they are the happiest people I have ever seen in the world. Their capability to love is overwhelming. I know he loves them more than words can express because I have such a deep love for these people. I can not express to you how much I love these people, how much they have changed my life.

The End is Near

2010-06-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

It rained today! I woke up to pouring rain. Eliza and I went out into it for literally ten seconds and came out completely drenched. I sat there and watched it as it dumped buckets and listened to the thunder. There are so many things that make me feel at peace in India and the rain is definitely one of them.

Every month the leaders of the different colonies through out the state of Tamilnadu come and meet with Patma to discuss their loans. Patma is like the Mother Theresa of India. Her father was the president of India and worked with Ghandi. She played at Ghandi’s feet. She remembers when she was little having to wear tough cotton because they stopped buying cotton from the British and produced their own. She comes from a very wealthy family. They are known for being genuine and honest. Politics did not corrupt her family which happens very often here in India. Patma has dedicated her time in helping the leprosy affected. She is often looked down upon by members of her class because instead of being concerned with social events and luxeries, she works with the untouchables. Her family, however, supports her and are very proud of her work. I had the privilege to meet Patma today. One of the first things I noticed about her is that for being one of the wealthiest and prominent woman in India, she does not show it. Amy told me that she wears only what the people she work with can afford. Her jewelry was very simple and modest. She wore very simple clothes. I really admired that about her. She could have so much, but she thinks of others before herself. She majored in economics and thought of the micro lending system for the colonies. The micro lending is honestly amazing. There are two groups. One is the self help group. A small group of the colony members group together and each put in a certain amount of money and loan it to one person. That person will use the money to start a business and then pay all of the members of the group back. They then loan it to the next person etc. The second group is a community loan. This is used for the bigger purchases. Patma gives them a loan and they have to pay her back with about one to two percent interest. The interest is used only to cover expenses. Patma receives no profit from the colonies. When I was asking her about the micro lending, she told me that God had planted the idea in her head because she could never think of that on her own. She’s the most humble woman. Patma is one of the most genuine women I know. She has the ability to make someone feel instantly loved. The people respect her and I really admire her. She is my hero.

While we were at the meeting, we found another artist. He made these gorgeous paintings with crayola paint. He fingers are all deformed and he lost a leg. He sold us his paintings for about two american dollars each. They should be worth so much more because of the arduous work it takes this man to paint a single painting. We made his whole day. Each of us bought at least one and asked him to take a picture with us and the painting.

The meeting resumed. I couldn’t understand a word they said unless Amy talked to Patma. It was very interesting to see all of these amazing people gathered in one place. Dr. Kumar would tell me what was going on as they yelled each other. When they yell though, they’re not mad. That’s just how they talk to each other. Amy joked that they were yelling, “I think it’s going to rain tomorrow!” “No it’s not!” which made us all laugh.

On our way home, there was an argument between Heather and Matthew about the men of India and their mustaches. Matthew claimed that every man in India had a mustache and when Heather didn’t believe him and claimed it to be a trend, we started to count. It was so funny because we could not find a single guy without a mustache. One of the best moments was after she said that there were men without mustaches, we drove past three guys on a motorcycle. Stache. Stache. Stache.

Playtime was talent day. I helped the girls make bracelets. When I say I helped, I mean Padmini’s daughter taught me how and laughed at me when I tried to make one. It felt like a girls night out and it was fun to relax and talk with them about themselves. Some of my little boys would come running into the room to show me the paper airplanes and balloons Raegan gave them. They were so proud of those airplanes and made cute little noises as they flew them through the air.

When we are at Rising Star, we eat dinner on the roof. We look out onto endless groves of bright green trees. The sunset fills the sky with deep reds, yellows, pinks, and purples. There’s always a nice breeze which cools everyone off after a long hot day. It’s so peaceful and I’m so spoiled to have that view as I eat dinner. The sunset is going to be one of many things I miss about India.

The whole time I put the kids to bed I couldn’t help but think that this was my second to last night tucking them in. I held them and never wanted to let them go. I sat with the littlest ones and as cuddled, we kept saying to each other I love you. I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed so much in my life. They continually kissed me on the cheeks over and over. I love it so much. I laid them down for bed and kissed them goodnight. As I was walking away, I saw them blowing me kisses like how I taught them earlier today.

Here at Rising Star, we are a family. The second the kids meet us we are instantly auntie and uncle. They refer to all of their friends as big sister, little brother etc. This is my family and I don’t want to leave them. I love them more than words can express and it’s going to rip my heart in two to say goodbye. I can’t believe this is coming to an end. I want to come next year for the whole summer.

Paintings, Bricks, and Prison

2010-06-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

Today I learned the meaning of TII. This Is India. Our early morning started late. Our bus arrived late. We forgot people and water bottles etc so had to drive around campus a few times. Best way to describe it is, this is India. People are never punctual. It’s very relaxed which I actually love. After it took awhile for us to leave, we went to the colony to continue help build the community center. We made a quick stop at their art school and I bought three of their paintings. They are amazing. The best part was all of the people who painted my paintings were at the school so I got to take a picture of them with the art. They were so proud of their artwork as they should be because the pieces are truly amazing.

After I made my purchases, I went to the construction sight. Our group sat and transfered huge piles of bricks to the foundation for a couple of hours. It was hard work and the piles never seemed to get any smaller. My favorite parts though were carrying the bricks on my head

and having Amy pour buckets of water on all of us. It was the most refreshing feeling having that water drench me. At one point a man on a motorcycle offered to help. Here in India, women don’t really have any respect. This whole time I’ve been here, no man has ever offered me a seat, waited for me to file out of the airplane, waited his turn in line, or waited for me to get off a bus. They’ll sit on seats even though I have heavy luggage; they push their way off the airplane even though I was in front of them; they butt their way to the front of the line; and I get trampled as everyone tries to get off the bus. When this man offered to help, it was like a breath of fresh air. Although he really only helped for five minutes (we think he didn’t realize how hard it was to carry bricks to and from the foundation) it still impressed me. The time came when the brick pile became non existent and our driver brought us all cold waters. We then went to the junction where Theresa bought us all ice cream. That ice cream was the best ice cream I have ever had. The sensation of frozen chocolately goodness sliding down my throat was one in a million.

We got back to our hostel around 4. I quickly took a shower to scrub the dirt from my hair, face, and body and left to go play with the kids. Today playtime consisted of me saving little Peter from getting attacked by all of the older boys. Peter is one of the smallest boys here at Rising Star. The other boys pick him up whenever they please and lock him in prison. Anytime they came charging at him he’d run to me and I’d try to keep them from tackling me to the ground as well. There were those unfortunate times though when they would capture Peter and put him in prison. It was cute watching teams form to either capture or save little Peter.

Time came for dinner and after dinner we played sardines with the Hendershot's kids (Hendershots are the family who live here and run everything. They are amazing). It sometimes can be a little difficult to find places to hide.

After cramming into shelves, I sat with the boys while they ate their dinner. I would have little hands cover my eyes until I guessed who it was. I always loved them trying to throw me off and finally see their smiling faces looking down at me. Anandravil is one of my favorite little boys. He’s really shy but has the sweetest little smile. He now will come up and just smile at me. I’ll scoop him up and give him the biggest kiss on the cheek which shows off his smile even more. He then sits with me as we watch chaos unfold around us with all of the little boys running around.

My family is the best family ever. When I say family, I don’t mean my immediate family (although they are as well the best). When I say my family I mean Kala, Heather, the boys, and me. They are the most well behaved boys. They all sit and snuggle with you until they fall asleep. Many kept asking if I was going to watch the movie with them this Saturday. Unfortunately I leave Rising Star Friday morning. I only have about two days left. I can’t believe it and I don’t want to leave. I’m going to miss them all so much.